


The Difference Between Boys & Girls

by heyjae



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Cheating, Dancer Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2018-11-17 10:04:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11273250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjae/pseuds/heyjae
Summary: Sam & Erin are university students who share a cheap one bedroom apartment above a shitty takeaway restaurant. Due to the limited space, they've grown accustomed to sharing just about everything, including the occasional kiss.





	1. Chapter One

"You headed out?"

Erin's head whipped around in her roommates direction as he appeared in the doorway of their shared bedroom. He was shirtless, for no real reason, jogging pants barely clinging to his hip bones. Sammy and Erin, to a certain extent, had stopped being shy being half-naked or completely naked around each other after a successful year of living together, and keeping things from becoming noticeably awkward between them. It was almost a tradition for them to freely walk around their tiny apartment space in the dead of winter or in the sweltering heat of summer in next to nothing.  

She turned in her seat to fully face Sammy as he flashed her one of his infamous megawatt smiles. It always amazed Erin how he did that, going from smoldering and sexy one second to unexpectedly adorable the very next. It was a talent if she ever saw one. Erin inhaled and clenched the makeup brush in her hand with a tighter grip.

“Uh, yeah. Some girls from my study group invited me out for a drink” She nodded, tapping the fluffy end of her powder brush against her knee as she did her best to keep her eyes focused on his face and not his bare chest.

“I don’t really feel like going, but it beats lying around here doing nothing with you all night” She shrugged.

Sammy rolled his eyes and drilled his toned shoulder into the doorjamb. "You make it sound like we don’t have any fun just laying around" He replied with a gentle pout.

"Oh so much fun" Erin reassured with a hint of sarcasm. "But I’m pretty sure they’re going to kick me out of the group if I keep turning down their G.N.O’s."

"They sound like shitty friends; why would you want to go out with them anyway?"

"Well, there aren’t too many people falling over themselves to hang out with an English major, some of us have to take what we can get" Erin chuckled and turned back to face the mirror to finish constructing her 'I don’t really want to be here’ face. Minimal makeup and boring straight hair.

"I like hanging out with you, am I not enough?" Samuel shot back.

Why were they debating this?

The question nearly fell from Erin’s lips because it almost sounded like her roommate was trying to convince her not to go. It was a stupid thought but one that had to be considered.

"Sammy," Erin sighed. "Are you bored or something? You're a big boy I'm sure you can find some way to entertain yourself when I'm not here," She craned her head to look at him again, "Maybe catch up on some of the 'anatomy' research I caught you doing in the living room last night?"

The small frown that was beginning to form on Sammy's lips disappeared into a broad grin in response to Erin's statement, making her stomach flutter just slightly. She always enjoyed seeing him laugh, especially when she was the cause.

With him partially distracted, Erin took the chance to subtly drink in every inch of his toned skin. He wasn't overtly muscular, more lean than anything but cut where he needed to be. Erin concluded that he had the years he's spent b-boying to thank for that.  His face…Sam had a face that probably wouldn't seem like much at first glance but there was just something about him that made you want to keep looking once he caught your eye. Strong jawline, straight nose, deep-set brown eyes that turned into half-moons whenever he smiled, which was often. Erin was convinced that he could make anyone fall in love by doing something as simple as breathing, and you'd find yourself becoming jealous of the air that filled his lungs because it was able to touch him in places that you couldn't.

Not that she was in love with him, she would be in an idiot not to notice what a total hottie her roommate was.

"Whatever, noona.

His voice snapped Erin out of her haze.

"Go out with your book nerds and paint the town beige," Sammy pushed away from the threshold, padded into the room and came to stand behind where Erin sat.

It should be noted that Erin wasn't entirely dressed either. She was in her robe, naked underneath, and currently willing her nipples not to get hard. The vanity mirror she set up cut Sammy off at the neck so all she could see was his torso just about pressed up against her back. He leaned down bringing his cheek close to her own.

She inhaled softly. The scent of his soap and cologne filled her nostrils and almost made her eyes flutter with satisfaction. She managed to hold it together though, no matter how much Erin harped on and on about not feeling anything but friendship for Samuel the past few months made it clear she wasn't sure what the hell she felt anymore.

They had been friends long before they decided to live together. Having seen each other through all the lows and highs of life since high school, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that they were more than just friends. They were basically family. Which was why Erin just couldn't bear to question exactly what had been going on between them lately. The closer than normal contact, him asking to share the bed with her because the pullout couch was messing with his back, all the goodbye kisses that seemed to linger for a second too long to be innocent. All signs pointed to the fact that he was feeling the same kind of attraction that she was, but even with all that evidence Erin just couldn't muster up the courage to call any attention to it.

Sammy brought a hand up and brushed it through gently through Erin's hair. Inwardly, her muscles tensed at his caress, and ripples of energy splintered everywhere. Erin's hair just happened to be an erogenous zone for her, but apparently only when Sammy touched it, which he did often enough.

"If you really want to go have some fun then I'll stop bothering you" Sammy stated, twirling a strand around his index finger.

His voice sounded coarse like the words pained him to say out loud, that was probably just Erin's imagination.

Instead of responding Erin simply shrugged her shoulders and reached for her darkest tube of lipstick that wasn't actully black. Dark colors usually did the trick to scare any guys planning to target her as an easy lay. To the weak of heart, dark colors seemed suggest hypersexuality, dabbling in witchcraft or both. Which meant whatever lame pickup line they had planned wasn't going to fly with her.

"Don't make it sound like I'm locking you in a cage here by yourself." Erin said after a few seconds, biting into her lip when Sammy's hand smoothed down to her shoulder.

His brow scrunched and his lips pulled down at the corners. "There's only so much I can do when you're not here."

Erin snickered and began lining her lips in plum lipstick. "We have internet and a laptop, go nuts."

"That's only fun when I think you're gonna catch me"

Erin's eyebrow quirked but she chose to ignore that little revelation "You're so gross."

Sammy laughed again and that curious hand of his moved back up to Erin's neck, his thumb rubbing circles at her nape.

"You're distracting me," She said through a soft breath.

"Ah, sorry," Sammy dropped his hand but he didn't move from his spot. His eyes zeroed in on her lips while she put on her lipstick. "Is that new? I really like that color on you noona."

Capping the lipstick, Erin smiled gently and looked forward, her eyes connecting with Sammy's through his reflection in the mirror. "When exactly did I become noona, by the way? In the years we've known each other I can count on one hand the amount of times you've called me that"

Sammy smirked and shrugged his shoulders, "You don't like it?"

It was quite the opposite, actually. If Erin had a smidgen of confidence she would tell him that she absolutely adored hearing him call her 'noona'. She was over the novelty of the age gap a year after moving to South Korea but there was just something about the way Sammy said it. It wasn't said condescendingly or begrudgingly but with genuine love and Erin could feel that.

"Nah, it makes me feel old."

"Well that's too bad because I like saying it to you-" Sammy lowered his frame until he rested on his haunches with is chin just about resting on Erin's shoulder. "Noona."

He was too low for her to elbow him like she wanted to so Erin settled for judgmental glare before returning to her makeup. "Keep this up and I'll be waking you up in the middle of the night just to gush all about all the guys I make out with tonight, with vivid detail."

Sammy cocked a lopsided grin. "I doubt that will happen. When you spend nights making out with guys you don't want to give it up to, I usually just hear you lock the door and  _bzzzzz_." He replied, complete with sound effects and what could only be described as his imitation of a stroke victim having an orgasm.

"Out! Right now, that's enough out of you for the night" Erin exclaimed through a mixture of laughter and embarrassed groans, turning to smack him a few times on the shoulder.

Chuckling, Sammy rose to his feet.

"Alright, alright I'll go but I do have one question for you," He said as he stared down at Erin, placing his hands on his hips, and wetting his bottom lip with his tongue. Erin dug all ten of her fingernails into her kneecaps to get a hold of herself.

"What's your question, Samuel?"

"Are you planning on bringing anyone home tonight?"

Erin paused, suspicion making her eyes squint gently. That was a question she'd never heard from him before. "Why?"

"Just answer the question, Erin."

"I....don't know, probably not. Why?"

"I just wanted to know if I'd get a chance to try out my new noise-cancelling headphones tonight."

With that Erin rolled her eyes and stood to face him, "I've had enough of you Sammy, get out. I need to get dressed and you’re just distracting me with foolishness." Sammy only chuckled then shuffled toward the door, whistling.

Just as quickly as he left Sammy's head popped up at the corner of the entrance again. Erin stared at him expectantly.

"Why don't I come out with you tonight? I know for a fact that you only tolerate those book club girls and I know Kasey won't be coming because I was eavesdropping earlier. Come on, I'll do you a favor. "

Erin's fingers strummed the vanity top as she contemplated her roommate's suggestion. The girls from her study group weren't exactly nuns but they definitely weren't the most fun to hang with on a Friday night. They also probably wouldn't take too kindly to Erin inviting a guy to their 'Girl's Night Out'. However, having Sammy around all but guaranteed that she would have a good time tonight, even if it meant getting on their bad side.

It seemed worth it right?

"Can you promise to be on your best behavior?"

He shrugged. "Probably, but that depends on what you mean by 'best'."

"Like no challenging random people to a dance off, no hitting on any of my study group members..."

Sammy laughed. "Ooh, don't think I can agree to that last request, I've been on a kind of book smart, nerdy girl kick lately."

"Ugh, whatever just don't make it obvious" Erin replied, grabbing her cellphone. "I'll text Kim and tell her I have a....friend joining me."

Sammy beamed and immediately rushed over to envelop Erin in a smothering hug, making her blush like a silly school girl in return. "We're gonna have a blast, noona."

Erin grinned and stroked the smooth skin on his back softly. "I wouldn't speak too soon."

The smile on Sammy's face faltered slightly but he made no attempt at letting her go, his hands found their way into Erin's hair again and she shuddered slightly. A response that did not go unnoticed by Sammy since their bodies were practically sandwiched together. "You don't sound convinced."

"I don't control the future; we could get hit by a car on our way there. Go cover up your nips. We have to leave soon, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah" The lean boy replied as he slowly released Erin from his grasp and began making his way toward the door for the third time that night. He paused for a second once he was in the doorway and turned to glance at Erin who was combing through her hair, "Can I make a suggestion?"

"This better not be something silly."

"Wear your hair up."

Erin blinked a few times at her reflection before her eyebrow shot upward and she swiveled her head in Sammy's direction, waiting for him to elaborate on his random suggestion.

The expression on his face was serious, and his eyes almost appeared to be darkened. "With that dark lipstick…you look irresistible."

A pang of electricity sparked right through Erin's core, it took every amount of self-restraint in her not to cross the room and smear her perfectly applied lipstick all over his toned chest.

Instead, she chose to cover up her attraction with a pleasant smile while obediently complying with his request.

 "Up it is."


	2. Chapter 2

With her body wrapped in a dress that stopped just a couple inches below her ass, bare shoulders and a sheer cutout in the front Sam was having a hard time keeping his eyes from travelling along the contours of Erin's body.

 

Originally she planned on wearing just a pair of jeans and a cute top, thus ensuring that she would attract the least amount of attention when they reached their destination. That all changed when Samuel decided he was going to tag along, she didn't mind all eyes being on her as long as he was by her side.

And of course, the surge of confidence she felt after having caught Sam's eyes widen and his mouth drop open slightly when she stepped out of the bedroom may have had something to do with it also. He had managed to settle his features and avert his gaze once Erin joined him for their obligatory pregame shot in the kitchen, making sure to keep his distance like he was drinking with his baby sister and not some woman he'd leer at in a dim nightclub. 

His reaction only made Erin stifled a giggle after she allowed the alcohol to ease down her throat. He could play it cool all he wanted, Erin knew she had ruffled his feathers and that alone was almost enough to make their whole night worth it before it even began.

"Aren't you, like...cold? In that dress?"  Samuel asked, uttering his first full sentence since they'd left the apartment.

Erin only shook her head and made a small noise to demonstrate her disagreeing. 

Samuel scoffed and moved closer as they walked in stride, he knew better than to believe her when she was obviously freezing. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side, the pad of his thumb drumming lightly against her hip. "Like hell you're not."

 The touch burned through the flimsy layer of cloth and Erin was sure her cheeks would be flushed if she had any less melanin in her skin.

She couldn't allow her mind to read too much into his actions, however. As far as she knew Samuel had always been a very hands-on kind of guy. If he liked you, you knew because he'd find any excuse in the book to touch you. But there was also the side of his personality that just radiated affection when he was comfortable, the occasional hand grab, hug, caress usually mean nothing more to him than simply being friendly.

Sammy just liked human contact and sometimes it honestly drove Erin nuts.

"I think we're almost there" Erin commented as she glanced down at her cell phone, rereading the address Kim sent her a few hours earlier. "It should be on the left after this intersection."

"This doesn't really look like a good location for a bar" Sam noted as he glanced around their surroundings.

The streets were considerably empty for a Friday night and the few people they did see shuffling around looked like they were auditioning for part in Rent. Definitely not the young hip crowd either of them had been expecting. 

Five minutes, and one wrong turn later they figured out exactly why the area seemed so dead. 

The 'fun night out' Erin had been invited to turned out to be a gallery showing for a few unknown local artists. The air of excitement deflated the second Erin and Sam entered the building.

Kim was there at the entrance, craning her head back and forth and when she spotted Erin she beamed, and waved wildly. The second she did a quick scan of Erin's attire and noticed the handsome young man attached to her hip, her smile dulled considerably.

"Unnie! You remember my roommate, Samuel?"

Kim extended a hand, a smile way too broad to be genuine plastered on her lips. "Of course! It's a pleasure to see you again."

She was clearly lying since her nostrils were a bit too flared to be sincere. That didn't stop Sammy from grinning widely and taking her hand, bowing slightly to press his lips lightly to the back of her palm. "The pleasure is all mine."

Erin rolled her eyes gently and quirked her eyebrow in his direction, he winked at her and stood up straight again.

"Right. Well Erin I thought the friend you mentioned bringing along was a girl? Since this is a supposed to be a girl's night out."

And you said we would be going out for a drink, I guess we're both liars huh? Erin thought to herself.

"I know, but she couldn't make it and Sammy decided to volunteer to take her place. He might as well be a girl; you'll hardly notice the difference I promise."

Kim looked skeptical. Like she wanted to push the issue further but decided against it. "Alright he can stay but he has to participate like the rest of us."

"Participate, in what?" Sam asked.

"The post night discussion of course!" Kim answered, with more excitement than necessary as she reached down into her purse and dug out a notebook and pen for each of them. "We're all going to take notes on our favourite pieces and discuss them after the viewing, fun right?"

Erin braved a smile since she was used to Kim's concept of fun. Sam, on the other hand, refused to believe that she was serious as he erupted into a fit of laughter. Erin dug her elbow into his side and gave Kim a look of reassurance, "He has a weird sense of humour, we’re going to love this."

Kim nodded slowly and readjusted the strap of her purse "Okay, if you need anything just find me I'll be around" She began backing away "Oh and the drinks are free if you want one" The petite girl added before turning and disappearing into the shallow crowd.

"Homework, E. Seriously?" Sam began complaining not two seconds after Kim was no longer within earshot.

"What happened to Mr. Positivity? The drinks are free that's something, right?"

"It's the only reason I'm still standing here" 

"Oh come on, you wouldn't abandon your noona. Especially after you asked to tag along" Erin chuckled as she clipped the pen onto the side of her notebook.

"That's because I thought we would be drinking, not analyzing crappy art"

"Listen, I don't wanna do this anymore than you do. I'm way overdressed and I don't even like art. But at least we're here together and we've already been spotted so it's too early to bail anyway. If you want to continue grumbling I won't stop you but grumble on the way to the bar to get us some drinks."

Sam parted his lips to argue, but the resolve in Erin's eye made him second guess that. They could literally argue all night over this and he wasn't about to upset her when she looked that nice. "You're right," He sighed "You want your usual?"

"Yes please," Erin beamed and leaned upward to peck his cheek before he sauntered away in the direction of the bar with a dopey smile.

Suddenly very aware of the fact that she was standing in the middle of the floor alone, Erin quickly moved towards the nearest display of art. She pulled the pen from her notepad and pretended to be interested in the large canvas splattered with various lines and squiggles. Erin was never very appreciative of art even when she could understand the concept.

"Oh my god, this looks like a goddamn finger painting" She muttered underneath her breath.

A bellow of male laughter tickled Erin's ears from behind and almost made her jump out of her skin. She turned and came face to face with an unfamiliar person. His rounded cheeks made him seem young, much too young to be mixed in with this crowd but once Erin allowed her eyes to drift further down from his face she determined that he was probably in her age bracket. His hair was parted through the middle and pushed away from his face, colored a shade that Erin could only describe as neon tangerine and he wore a smile on his face that made the room seem ten shades brighter. He was tall but only by comparison to Erin, he was still a few inches shorter than Sammy so that brought him right to her eye level. 

"Mianhae, I didn't realise I was talking out loud," Erin said softly, accompanying her words with a slight bow. 

"Don't be, you're not lying" He answered, still trying to stop himself from laughing "I'm Brian by the way."

"Erin"

Brian [bit](http://31.media.tumblr.com/18306df618460d016cc341f7216dd48b/tumblr_inline_nug73v3uze1t3pjdq_500.gif) into his lip once his laughter subsided and subtly felt Erin up with his eyes. She pretended not to notice and returned her attention to the painting.

"So I guess art isn't really your thing either?"

"I love it actually, but the use of color and composition here is just lazy and uninspired." Brian commented and took a step closer, he was close enough for Erin to catch the scent of his cologne and a tiny shudder ran down the base of her spine. It was small but significant considering the only man that made her feel that way lately was Sammy. "Look at this area right here" He gestured to the far left side of the canvas "To the untrained eye it would probably look like a deliberate splatter of red paint to represent anguish, but I know that this artist just stepped on a tube and left the mark there."

"Mhm.... wait can you repeat that first thing again," Erin said, quickly putting her pen against the notebook and writing down the gist of what his.

"Are you a journalist?" Brian asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"University student, this is just for my.... study group. How do you know so much about this?"

"Because it's my painting and it only took me about five minutes to finish" Brian grinned and turned to face Erin. He was inches away and the coy smile that spread across his lips when their eyes connected made her chortle. Brian wet his bottom lip with his tongue which inadvertently drew Erin's attention there before the sound of someone clearing their throat behind them broke up the staring contest.

"Uh. The line was long, here's your drink. Who is this?" Sammy asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Erin smiled and took the tumbler of liquid from Samuel "This is Brian, we're making fun of his terrible art. Brian, this is my roommate; Sammy"

Both men nodded toward each other, exchanging a polite handshake before turning their attention back to Erin. Samuel was the first to speak.

"Listen do you really want to stay here all night? The drinks are watered down and I know how much you hate this art crap"

Erin shrugged gently but made a sour face the second she took a sip of her drink, it tasted like cranberry juice mixed with tap water, not vodka.

"Oh gross, let's get out of here before Kim finds me again," She said resting her cup on the nearest flat surface. She was all prepared to sprint out the nearest exit when a hand gently grabbed her upper arm and stopped her in her tracks.

"If you're going to leave can I see your phone before you go?" Brian asked, flirtatious smile still present.

"Why do you need to see my phone?"

"So I can put my number into it"

"Wow, you are subtle!" Erin laughed, taking a second to think of a response. "Ah, what the hell" She sighed and pulled her phone out of her purse, unlocked it and handed it over.

"Oh, what's this? It looks like you're accidentally calling me, that's weird. I guess I'll just have to save your number in my phone as well" Brian mused as his fingers moved over the keypad.

The entire interaction made Sam's lips fall into a flat, disapproving line while Erin giggled like it was the most amusing thing she'd ever seen.

"I hope to see you around sometime, Erin" Brian waved while she and Samuel headed toward the entrance.

"You too"

* * *

 

Instead of going home like Erin thought they would be, she and Samuel ended up at a bar a few blocks down from the warehouse where the gallery viewing was. Kim and all the members of her study group called multiple times but Erin stopped feeling bad about not picking after the first few shots.

Somehow one hour turned into to two and both Sam and Erin were tipsy to say the least they burst out onto the sidewalk, laughing at jokes neither of them were saying out loud.

"Do you know what we should do right now?" Sammy said excitedly, his hands holding onto Erin's shoulders.

"What?"

"Go watch the stars! Like we used to in school... I'm pretty sure there's a park somewhere around here" He muttered to himself but propelled forward anyway, dragging Erin along with him. She allowed him to pull her along as he tried to gain his bearings, she wasn't really ready to go home yet either.

After some trial and error, they managed to find the "park", which was actually just a patch of grass and a small hill but who was complaining?

Sammy motioned for Erin to sit next and she scrunched her nose upward "I don't want my dress to get dirty I'll stand, it's okay."

"Here," He sighed, pulling the jacket he was wearing off his shoulders and laying it down over the grass. "Better princess?"

"Much" Erin grinned as she moved to sit, exhaling a deep breath once she was settled and Sammy's arm found its way behind her. "I can't remember the last time we did this," She said after a beat, glancing up at the illuminated night sky.

"I do. It was the night of my graduation, you rode the bus all the way from Seoul to Daegu just to be there for my ceremony and stayed up with me to watch the stars even though you had a class the next morning." Sammy recalled with fondness in his voice.

"I remember that you begged me for like two hours to sneak out to the beach with you. Then when we actually got there you couldn't stop freaking out about being caught."

"My mother is a very perceptive woman; I still think she noticed me leaving in her sleep!"  Sammy retorted and both of them exploded with laughter.

"You made a promise that night too, do you remember that?"

Sam nodded with a smile but didn't saying anything.

"You're just going to make me repeat it by myself?"

"You look so cute when you say it noona"

Erin rolled her eyes, but cleared her throat anyway "I- state your name-"

"Sang-min 'Samuel' Park!"

"-So solemnly swear to live my life to fullest degree of potential and happiness possible from this moment on, recognising that I am no longer a child, but that doesn't I have to turn into a cynical old man. All agreed say aye." Erin was hardly able to finish talking before she gave into the laughter.

"Aye!" Sammy repeated in a squeaky voice and joined Erin in a chorus of giggles and guffaws.

A moment of comfortable silence passed over them once the laughter died down and Erin sighed again, snuggling closer to Sam and leaning backwards on her elbows. "You think you kept your promise? Are you happy, Sam?"

He frowned for a second and shrugged "I'm alright, I've still got you with me so that's good enough for me." He said softly, reaching forward to brush a stray hair out of Erin's eyes and tuck it behind her ear. The tips of his fingers slowly trailed along her jawline as if he was touching her for the first time. When he cupped her jaw in one hand and pulled her face closer his Erin found herself letting him do so.

They had kissed before, games of spin the bottle at highschool parties and a few times after having a couple drinks at home. But those could be explained away by a momentary lapse in judgement and raging underdeveloped hormones. This was a deliberate action and Samuel made sure to move at a slow pace to give Erin enough to time to back out if she wanted to.

She didn't want to.

"You looked so good tonight, noona" Sam whispered against the shell of Erin's ear, the bridge of his nose nuzzled against the hollow of Erins cheek and the warmth of his breath fanned over her skin causing heat to spread all over her body. Her breathing grew shallow and her eyes fluttered shut in anticipation, just as his lips barely brushed against her own a loud blaring noise shattered their fairytale and made them both jump backwards.

"Oh shit, I think that's my phone. Sorry" Erin fumbled around with the clutch in her hands before pulling out her cell phone and preparing to curse out whoever had the misfortune of calling her at that exact moment.

"Yeoboseyo?" Erin barked into the receiver.

"I- I'm sorry is this not a good time? Were you sleeping?" Brian’s gentle voice momentarily disarmed Erin's annoyance and she shook her head.

"Oh Brian is that you? No... I'm actually not even home yet, Sammy and I stopped for a drink before going home"

"Arasseo-yo" Brian replied softly, taking a second to think before speaking again "Well maybe you can text me when you home just so I know you're safe."

"I can do that" Erin answered, trying her best to smile even though she noticed the sudden change in Sam's posture, going from relaxed to rigid the second Erin answered the phone. He stood up after she hung up and held out a hand to help her to her feet. After she was standing he leaned down to pick up his jacket and dusted it off before placing it around Erin's shoulders.

"I should get you home."


	3. Graduation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Chapter

16:04:00 PM

Samuel was nervous. Not because today was the day he'd been waiting for since he enrolled in Highschool, not because everyone in the auditorium where he was currently seated expected him and the 152 other students there to now begin their transformations into adulthood. It wasn't even because he was voted to be one of the representatives of the graduating class which he had to the one to lead the other nine students in presenting rice cake to their teachers and hope that he didn't trip over his own two feet.

The only source of stress for Samuel on his graduation day was due to the fact that his best friend was nowhere to be found.

" _She said she'd be here_ " Sammy muttered to himself as she lifted up his head to look at the section his parents were sitting in once again. Erin's family was seated in the same row, but there was still an empty spot where Erin was meant to be. Both sets of parents and younger sibling waved when they noticed him looking, they gestured for him to pay attention to the speaker instead of looking up at them every five seconds. Sam sighed deeply and reluctantly obeyed, turning back to the speaker up ahead of him just in time to be called up to the stage.

* * *

 

" **You know** **he** **can't see you if you're crouching behind that pillar the entire time** " James Anthony, Erin's father, whispered toward her as she tried to sneak another glance at Sammy walking toward the stage.

**"I know Dad, that's why I'm hiding"**  She replied " **I want to surprise him- Oh look! He's going on stage, aw he looks so cute in his uniform. Now stop looking back here before he notices me."**

James chuckled softly and leaned back into his seat, he'd given up trying to understand why his daughter did the things she does a very long time ago. Life for both of them was simpler that way.

" **What are they doing now?** " He whispered to Ariana, his wife, but she looked just as confused as he was.

" **It looks like they're giving the teachers food? They didn't do that at pumpkin's graduation did they**?" She stated, referring to Erin.

" **I don't think so.** "

" **It's an old tradition** " Sam's mother, Su-bin, interjected in a whisper, leaning over Erin's empty seat " **Students** **give presents to teachers after an academic achievement, I think this is the first time they've done** **it** **here** **, though**."

" **Ooh...** " James and Ariana sighed simultaneously.

The Anthony's couldn't have been blessed with better neighbours than Park Jooheon and his family. Moving to South Korea as a black family was hard enough to begin with but moving to an area where they were the _only_ foreigner family made the first few months in the new country almost unbearable. James only knew a few Korean phrases since he frequently travelled back and forth from Texas for business but his wife and three young children didn't know anything at all. They hated being away from their friends, surrounded by people that looked at them like they were animals in a zoo, it was miserable.

That all changed when the Park's moved in next door. Subin and Jooheon Park were Korean by birth but had lived in California for most of their lives, their children were born there and if not for the deteriorating health of Subin's father they probably would have remained there. Both families took an immediate liking to each other and suddenly life in South Korea for the Anthony family wasn't so bad.

The ceremony ended with a thundering applause and the students quickly filed out of the auditorium after the faculty had left. The parents and family members in the audience began making their way toward the entrance to wait for their new graduates.

A few minutes later students began trickling out of the school's entrance, covered in flour and grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm free!" Sammy yelled in his parents and younger siblings direction as he all but ran towards them. Once he reached the group everyone took their turn giving him words of encouragement and congratulations. As happy as Samuel was to be surround by so many people who cared for him, his face fell when he noticed one face that wasn't in the crowd.

" **So....I guess Erin didn't come**?" Sammy asked, sounding somber as he glanced around the group and fully noticed her absence.

James and Ariana exchanged a short awkward glance. They didn't want to lie to him since they could clearly see Erin approaching him quietly from behind.

"Yah! You didn't think I'd miss your graduation day did you?" Erin exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, pulling him closely against her. Sammy was startled and screamed at the sudden contact but his momentary fear died down the second he heard Erin's voice. Sammy was sure he had never been happier than he was as that moment, all the disappointment he was feeling earlier melted away the second he felt Erin's arms around him. Then again he was always happy when Erin was around, and even more so when she was touching him.

He spun around as quickly as his body would let him and wrapped his arms around her waist, his smiling face burrowing into the crook of her neck. "I thought you couldn't come," He said mumbled against her skin softly. Erin grinned and threaded her fingers through his hair "Don't be silly, I would never miss this."

Subin and Ariana shared a knowing smile at the affectionate display and Jooheon cleared his throat nonchalantly to subtly remind the pair of "friends" that their hug was rapidly leaving friend territory.

Erin was the first to detach herself and step backwards, making Sammy reluctantly let her go. "I really am proud of you," She said with a genuine smile as she pressed her palm against his cheek. Sammy nuzzled his face against her hand, humming softly like a kitten while still gazing down at his best friend like she made the sun rise every morning and mouthed a silent 'Thank you' 

" **Well, Ariana and I didn't spend all day cooking to let it go to waste, who's hungry?"**

* * *

 

Hours passed by and before anyone noticed the sun had set and the night was setting in. It was too late for Erin to take the bus back to Seoul so she decided to stay with her parents for the night, even if that meant waking up at the ass-crack of dawn so that she wouldn't be late for her first class the next day.

Erin had already been asleep for over an hour when she heard her cell phone chirp the first time. She ignored it, at first, reasoning that if it was important the person would call her instead of texting. Exactly five minutes passed before her phone began ringing.

"Yeah?" She answered groggily.

"I can't sleep," Samuel said, responding to a question Erin didn't ask.

"Guess what I was doing?"

"Let's go to the beach."

"Sammy what the hell..." 

"Come on it'll be fun!" He whispered, even over the phone Erin could tell he was giving her his most convincing smile.

She groaned and argued but rolled out of bed and got dressed regardless. Not too long after they hung up Erin found herself shuffling barefoot in sand hand in hand with an overly excited new graduate. 

"The sky is so beautiful at night..." Samuel finally said as he stopped walked just a few feet from the shoreline, Erin was still half asleep and only grunted in response. 

"Erin....can I ask you something?"

She nodded since her head was pressed against his shoulder and she still didn't feel like making full sentences.

"What's life like after graduation?"

Erin chuckled softly, glancing up at Samuel who was still looking forward at the waves rolling in.

"Is that what this is about? You're worried about what your life is going to be like now?"

"It's just...." Samuel shuffled awkwardly from the balls of his feet to his heels, "Up until now all the big decisions in life have been made for me you know? Now it's all up to me and I just want to make my parents proud of me....I don't know if I can."

"You know your parents will be proud of you no matter what you decide to do with your life. They love you"

"Loving me isn't the same thing as being proud of me" Sam grumbled and kicked his foot against the sand.

" **Come here,** " Erin sighed and grabbed his hands, pulling him back toward the dry sand. She took a seat and patted the ground next to her.

"Are you planning on selling drugs?"

Samuel smirked and shook his head.

"Your body?" Erin asked in a soft whisper, leaning forward with her eyebrow quirked upward.

" **No** ," Samuel laughed and playfully nudged her shoulder.

"Then nothing else matters. As long as you're doing something that makes you happy and you're doing it to the best of your ability I can guarantee that Jooheon and Subin Park will support 100%. You know that."

Samuel considered her words for a few seconds then nodded, curling up his lips so that his dimples were prominent. "You're right"

"Of course, I am..... Just promise me you'll stay happy alright?"

" **Yeah**...."

"Promise!" Erin repeated and hit him gently on the arm.

"Aish, I promise!" He hissed sharply even thought her hit didn't really hurt "When did my noona get so smart?" Sam simpered and gingerly pinched Erin's cheek. She tried to swat his hand away, but Sammy dodged her attack and launched a counter-attack of his own. Reaching forward, Sam moved his hands against Erin's sides to playfully tickle her which made her double over with laughter. Erin wasn't overly ticklish, but she was tired and possibly delirious which made her lot more sensitive than usual. Samuel found himself chuckling at her amusing reaction as well, her head and upper body fell backward bringing Sammy right along with her. He hovered above her and peered down at her beaming face, it alarmed him just how much he wanted to kiss her at that moment.

Of course, he was already aware that Erin was beautiful, Samuel noticed that from the second he'd laid eyes on her. But this was the first time he was was conscious of how much he was _attracted_ to her. Her dark brown hair sprawled out over the sand in spiraling waves around her head as her laughing subsided and her chest rose and fell beneath him Sam was frozen in place above her.

"Are you okay?" She asked and reached up to move the hair that obstructed her view of his face, allowing her index finger to trail along his jawline before resting gently on his chest.

That single little touch was all it took to make Samuel lose total control of his senses.

His hand moved upward from her side to cradle Erin's chin. Confusion washed over her face, but any uncertainty about he was planning to do next left her the moment he began moving closer and she did nothing to stop him. Nervously he pressed his lips against hers and Erin's eyelids fluttered shut as she was overcome with a desire she didn't even know she possessed. Her mouth opened slightly and Samuel took that as a sign to continue. He tilted his head to deepen their kiss, his tongue slipping past her lips and  tentatively caressing and massaging against hers.

Erin moaned softly and the sound only made it more difficult for Samuel to be sensible about the situation and stop himself before things got out of hand. Instead, the passion between them intensified, his hands began roaming her body freely as Erin's hands travelled underneath his t-shirt and her nails ran down the measure of his back with a light pressure.

The two separated momentarily, racing to catch their breaths as both of them stared the other down like they were seeing each other for the first time. Some awkwardness was expected, but that wasn't quite what they were feeling at that moment. Samuel was the first to smile. His fingertips trailing over her flushed skin, and Erin soon followed and traced the pad of her thumb over his bottom lip before their lips melded together again and Erin felt something stir in her that she was sure she’d never felt before. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him even closer, her legs parting so that he was slotted between them.

Sammy put all he had into the kiss now, no longer nervous or awkward about kissing her. It felt nice to be like this with his best friend; tongues massaging and bodies wrapped up in one another. He groaned as her nails pressed into his back again, and unconsciously his hips pushed forward to grind against her core as Erin matched each one of his slow strokes with a movement of her own.  He continued to kiss her with passion and fervor, his arm now supporting her lower back and his other hand held the back of her head. Sam slowed down the pace of their kisses, pulling away with her bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Erin's fingers rifled through his hair, a pleasurable moan tumbling from her lips as his mouth kissed a trail down her neck, nipping and sucking the skin there. “You are so beautiful” Sam complimented in a delicate voice as his hand moved from her back to smooth down her side, gripping her hips. His praise made Erin grin and she opened her mouth to respond, but her breath caught in her throat when she felt his hand move beneath the band of her sweatpants to rub outside her panties and stroke the sensitive nub at the apex of her thighs.

The sound of footsteps behind them made Erin's eyes shoot open. A flashlight shone brightly on them and they both froze.

"Yah, perverts! What are you doing down there?" The voice wasn't familiar which mean it was probably a security guard and luckily not one of their parents.

"Oh shit, oh shitshitshitshitshitshit" Samuel panicked and scrambled off Erin's body while she pulled her hoodie over her head to cover her face.

"What do we do?" Erin asked before she felt Sammy grabbed her hand and interlace their fingers.

"Run." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note;  
> I am cliché /trope trash and i love it.   
> See you on the next one!~


	4. Chapter 4

"So did he take you home and bang you?"

Erin groaned, knowing that this would be the only thing Kasey would be concerned about when she decided to tell her about what happened between her and Sammy two nights ago. Kasey had always been a straightforward, candid kind of girl and that trait was one of the many things Erin admired about her friend.

She had no problem making her many opinions known and heard by whoever was in earshot, not that she was rude; the girl just appreciated being heard. Erin always wondered how she managed to find home in a country so strict on ways to manner yourself with everyone you met when the Kasey she knew was not a fan of censoring herself for someone else's benefit. Then again she had been here for over three years so clearly something was working for her.

"No he did not take me home and bang me" Erin answered in a hushed voice, glancing around at the groups of people sat near them in the tiny cafe. They didn't seem like they were eavesdropping, but the second Kasey alluded to sex Erin saw a few nosey Ajumma's slowly turn in their direction. 

"We just went home. I took a shower, called Brian then went to bed. I think Sammy fell asleep watching TV."

"So that's just it? You didn't even bring up the fact that he tried to kiss you?" Kasey asked, sounding dumbfounded.

"Not that night. I mean, he was acting weird the entire walk back to our apartment and when we finally did get home he just kicked off his shoes and laid out on the couch," Erin sighed and leaned forward to take a small sip of her Green Tea Latte "I did bring it up the next day though."

"And?" Kasey was as impatient as she was opinionated, the two seconds Erin took to clear her throat was just too much for her.

"You need to cool it on the expresso, and he just apologised. His exact words were 'Ah, noona! I'm so sorry I was a little drunk and I shouldn't have tried to take advantage of you, it won't happen again'. Then he did some really annoying aegyo, kissed me on the forehead, I went to class and now I'm here with you and honestly I'm just over the whole thing."

Erin sounded confident, but her best friend knew that couldn't be further from the truth.

"Is that so?" Kasey asked with a catlike smirk as she attempted to catch Erin's eyes.

"Yup! totally over it" Erin replied while staring out the window.

"Erin."

"Alright, fine I'm not over it!" She groaned as she crumbled like a house of cards and rested her head against the table. "I can still feel his breath on my skin and every time I look at him I just wanna push against the wall and make him finish what he started." The ajumma's seated a table across from them pursed their lips and got up.

"Then why don't you do that?" Kasey stated like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Erin picked her head up and looked over at her best friend who was currently mutilating the foam cat that was floating on top of her hot cocoa. "Because....it's not that easy. We've been friends for so long and we live together and that would just complicate things. There's also the fact that I don't know if he feels the same way."

"Oh c'mon Erin you can't believe that"

"I'm serious, Kas. I don't."

"So you think he was just trying to keep you from getting a cold with his lips the other night?" 

"No, but that doesn't mean anything. I know that I'm pretty, I know that I was wearing a sexy dress that night and I know that we were both a little tipsy and our inhibitions were lowered. He's my friend, but he's still a guy so I get that he's gonna be attracted to me sometimes. What I don't know is if he wants to be with me the way I want to be with him."

Kasey raised an eyebrow and pushed her mug forward so that she could rest her palms against the table. "I thought you just wanted to screw him."

Erin shrugged and adjusted the beanie on her head, gnawing at her bottom lip between her teeth "I do...I mean. I did, but it's different now. I want to hold his hand and snuggle up on the couch and watch pride prejudice together, go for walks on the beach..." 

"So basically, all the shit ya'll do now but with sex?" Kasey pointed out.

"Well. Yeah."

It was Kasey turn to sigh now, and she did. Loudly and dramatically, she loved Erin to bits but there was no way she could be this clueless. "Then why don't you tell him that? What's the worse that could happen, he says nah and you two go back to being weird like you are now"

"I don't wanna risk it" Erin reiterated "Plus now Brian's in the mix and that's throwing me off because one part of me wants to wait for some kind of sign from Sammy but the other part of me really wants to see what could happen with Brian."

"I've been meaning to ask about that, are you really going to go out with him? He doesn't sound like your usual type; unemployed, flirty, short."

"We met for coffee yesterday actually. He is not unemployed; he's an artist, his flirtations aren't creepy and he's not short! He's like a full inch taller than me" Erin pouted in Brian's defense.

"Whatever, did you tell him how deep in love you are with your roommate?"

Erin glowered at Kasey and flipped her off "We didn't stay too long because he had an emergency at his studio. He's taking me out tomorrow night though I don't know exactly where but he made it sound nice." She mused with a small smile.

Kasey shrugged gently, choosing to give up the chance to berate her friend again she wasn't going to make any headway until Erin was ready to truly confront what she was feeling for Sammy. 

"All jokes aside you really should talk to him about it, E." Erin's mouth opened to refute her, but Kasey held up a hand and continued speaking "You don't have to tell him you're in love with him, even though I know you are. At least tell him that you're attracted to Sam. It wouldn't be fair for you to let him jump head first into this without being given the option to back out if he doesn't want to deal with that."

Erin was silent for a few seconds. She knew that Kasey was right in some sense, but that didn't make the idea any easier to swallow. She didn't want to end up hurting Brian in the future, but there was such a slim chance of anything happening between her and Sammy. Would it really be worth it to put her budding relationship to the test over a something that had such a small possibility of being an actual problem?

"I know.."

* * *

 

"I was this close, dude! So close to kissing her, I could taste the tequila on her breath" Sammy exclaimed as she tossed a soft felt basketball into the air.

"So why didn't you?" Du-jin asked though he wasn't particularly interested since he was currently enthralled in an RPG on his phone.

Samuel sighed heavily and pulled the plush toy close to his chest once it fell back into his hands "That guy she met at the gallery called; ruined the whole mood" He grumbled then turned to look down at his classmate who was seated on the floor in front of the couch Sammy was laying on. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? Yeah, a gallery shooting ruined the mood" Du-jin replied, his eyes never leaving the screen.

Sammy frowned and reached down to pluck the cellphone from Du-jin's hands before quickly hopping off the couch and running around the to the back before Du-jin had the chance to stand up and catch him. His friend was taller that he was, with much longer arms and legs, but he was nowhere near as coordinated as Sam was. Sammy had seen him stumble and trip over his own two feet too many times to count. 

"Just listen to me for two minutes and you can have your phone back." Sam bargained once Du-jin started complaining and demanding his possession back. 

"You are so damn needy" Du-jin grumbled but returned to sit on the floor anyway "What is this about? You're making out with your roommate now?"

"Almost" Sam corrected as he hopped over the back of the couch and relaxed again "You know Erin, she came with me when we went out for noraebang a few months ago."

"Oh, the black girl? I thought she was your girlfriend" Du-jin said, as his eye squinted together in confusion "You two barely talked to anyone else the whole night and that duet you sang...."

"We're close" Sammy responded before he hand a chance to bring up any more evidence.

"I have close female friends too....I don't touch any of them" Du-jin rebutted.

"Maybe you're not as close as you think."

"This isn't about me. If you're such close friends why do you want to kiss her?"

This question gave Samuel pause and he sat up slightly before answering "I don't know...she's cute" He said after a beat "And it wouldn't have been the first time we've kissed."

"So she was your girlfriend."

"No, not like that. Just accidental things when we both weren't thinking clearly or something. Well, there was that time on the beach..."

"You've got sixty seconds left so I'd make this quick."

Sam puffed his cheeks out and pouted before explaining himself "When we were kids were snuck out after my graduation and ended up making out. If we hadn't been caught we probably would have done a lot more than that. I remember being so excited when we got back to my house I thought I would finally get the chance to confess and she'd be my girlfriend, but she just told me she had to go home then she went back to university and she was so busy we didn't even get to talk for the rest of that week. I don't think we've ever talked about that since it happened." 

"What's stopping you from bringing it up now?" Du-jin asked while peering at his watch.

"I-Well she's met someone now" Sammy stammered "She seems happy and I can't just bring up the past and ruin something that could be good for her with these uncertain feelings"

"Wow sounds like you've got a problem" Du-jin's voice was flat and monotone as she reached for his cellphone and quickly opened the game again.

"Ah, hyung. I'm really frustrated here, give me some useful advice." Sam whined.

"What do you want me to tell you? You waited too long to make up your mind and now you're in an awkward position. You can either ruin her new relationship before it starts and truly lose her or stand by and hope that they break up soon." Du-jin advised from the floor.

Sam frowned and began to speak before the sound of the door unlocking made him shut up. Once his roommate was inside and in his eye view Sam rushed from his seat to embrace her.

Erin's knees nearly buckled from the sudden contact but she regained her composure after a few seconds "Hi Sammy" She laughed and wrapped her arms around him to return his hug before quickly stepping away, "Uh-have you eaten? I stopped to get some food before I came home" Erin asked while she sidestepped Sammy and moved toward the kitchen. The boy seated near their couch caught her attention and Erin bowed instinctively "Hello, you're...Doo-jun right? You're in one of Sammy engineering classes."

"Du-jin but you were close enough" Du-jin smiled, the deep dimples in his cheeks becoming more noticeable.

"Ah, I apologise. I'm not very good with names, are you hungry? There's enough food here for all of us" She asked while placing the bag full of containers on the counter.

Du-jin nodded and offered to help, but Erin only waved him off, stating that she could handle a few plates of food as she began preparing everything from the containers.

Samuel had moved from the door and was currently hovering near the entrance of the kitchen, watching Erin from behind with an affectionate smile. The longer he stood in silence and watched her interact with his classmate, the smile that spread across her face when she laughed making his heart swell. Sam realised that his 'uncertain feelings' where Erin was concerned were not quite as uncertain as he thought.

In fact, he was certain that he was now in very big trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

Samuel wasn't exactly sure just how long he'd been laying there, lazily staring at Erin while she slept peacefully. However, he did know that it had been long enough for him to discern that she had a weird habit of muttering things to herself while she slept. Most of it was nonsense, but that didn't make it any less charming in Sam's eyes. Which is why Erin awoke to the sight him gazing at her with an exceptionally large grin on his face.

"What are you doing?" She asked without so much as a flinch, she was used to waking up him in the same bed as her by now. Albeit he was usually never this close when she woke up but Erin decided that it was too early to question things.

"Watching you sleep, did you know that you talk in your sleep, noona?" Sam said, his eyes never leaving her face as she shifted on the mattress to sit up and rub her tired eyes.

"I do not" Erin scoffed.

"You really do, it's fucking weird."

"Well if I'm such a weird sleeper why are you in here?" The brunette asked while she moved to lean over Sam's body, detaching her cell phone from it's charging cable then leaning back down to rest the back of her head against her pillow.

"It's cold in the living room and the heater is still broken" Sam pouted and snuggled closer to his friend by wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and placing his head on her shoulder.

"Why don't you make use of that electronic blanket I bought you?" Erin asked while caressing his cheek with one hand and using the other to scroll through the few messages she'd received while asleep. Quite a few of them were from Brian which made her smile unknowingly.

Erin may not have noticed the smile creeping up on her face but Samuel did, which made the pleasant smile he was wearing waver slightly then fall completely when Erin removed her hand from his cheek and began replying to the messages with questions about their date later than night. Samuel coughed slightly and detached himself from his best friend.

Noticing the loss of warmth next to her, Erin looked up "Where are you going?" 

"Uh-I've got a class soon. I should start getting ready for it" Sam replied from the edge of the bed, looking back at Erin over his shoulder "I'll see you later, alright?"

"Alright. See you." Erin said softly as she watched him get up and leave the bedroom without a second glance. She sat in silence for a what couldn't have been more than a few seconds, waiting for his head to pop up in the corner of the doorway like it usually did when he was getting ready for class but it never did. Instead, Erin heard the sound of the shower turning on and the gentle ping from her phone to notify that she had an incoming message.

* * *

 

It had been a long and tiring day for Samuel Park.  He never enjoyed going to any of his classes, but he attended them all because he knew that's what was expecting of him. He suffered through the mind-numbing bore that was majoring in Engineering, knowing that his last year was coming up soon and this would all be over eventually. After he struggled through the three classes he had that day he moved from one level hell to another, namely his part-time job at a convenience store a few blocks away from his apartment. The job itself was not difficult since Sammy loved people and he had the indescribable quality to make everyone like him for no real reason, even the particularly annoying customers didn't bother him as much as his manager did. The man did everything he possibly could to make sure that Sam worked twice as hard as anyone else there when they worked the same schedule. Cleaning the bathrooms, mopping up spills that never seemed to happen when Sam worked by himself or with another member of the team; there were even a few times where Sam found himself washing his manager's car just to avoid being fired or punished with something much worse. 

Even with all that; the stress always seemed to melt right off Samuel's shoulders when he got home, especially when Erin was already home and he could hear her voice. Today was different though, Sam inhaled and exhaled deeply when he opened the door and stepped over the threshold of their shared apartment. He was met with the sound Erin butchering some song that he heard a lot on the radio from her bedroom, her Korean wasn't bad but Erin was far from a good singer. With an amused grin on his lips, Sam pushed off his shoes, kicked the door closed behind him and headed to the source of the loud music. 

"At least one of us had a good da-" Sam begin to say before he stopped in the doorway with a dumbstruck look on his face. He could tell she was getting ready to go somewhere judging by the amount of makeup things she had spread across her vanity, but that wasn't what made him stop. It wasn't even because she was dancing around the room with her eyes screwed shut screeching into a hairbrush like a twelve-year-old, what gave him pause was the fact that she was doing all of this while wearing one of his oversized t-shirts and little else. His fingertips twitched with the desire to touch her by his side, making Sam stuff his hands into his pockets and clear his throat loudly while leaning casually against the door post.

"You run out of clothes?" He asked coolly, as if one of his fantasies wasn't playing out before his very eyes.

"Aigoo, Sammy! You startled me," Erin grinned as her eyes shot open and she clutched her chest "I didn't think you'd be home yet, sorry about the noise" She apologised and moved toward her cell in order to lower her music. 

Sammy nodded toward her torso and Erin glanced down, his earlier question playing back in her mind "Oh this.....this isn't what it looks like" She motioned to the shirt that covered her before reaching down to toy with the hem that grazed her mid-thigh "I'm [wearing white](http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/JoWYZLVhb4G8fW0TAWRyA/cid/186127795/id/_nETPtqt5RGdk6IqLm_iLQ/size/c600x600.jpg) tonight and I didn't want to risk getting any makeup on my top. I thought it'd be okay since I hardly ever see you wear this." Erin shrugged and glanced at the ground.

"I can take it off it bothers you"

"No!" Samuel replied, a little too quickly. "I mean it's fine, you're right I don't wear that anymore," He said with an awkward laugh  then took a few steps forward. "Hot date tonight?"

Erin nodded "Uh yeah, with Brian" She sighed as she took a seat on the edge of her bed to pull on her jeans. Sammy really did try his best not to steal a glance but that was a losing battle. "We met up for coffee yesterday but tonight will be our first official date."

"Nervous?" He asked while hovering close to where she sat but never quite getting close.

"I wasn't at first but now I kind of am?" Erin looked up and smiled "Is that pathetic? I haven't been on a real date in a very long time, what if I say something stupid?" She groaned which made Sammy smile and finally sit down next to her, his hands coming out of his pockets to rest in his lap.

"He'll just think you're cute, that's nothing to worry about" Samuel reassured Erin by gently squeezing her knee and rubbing against it with his thumb.

It was the first form of contact that he'd initiated with her that wasn't just a hug apart from the cuddling that morning and the action sent sparks of raging fire surging throughout Erin's body. When she worked up the courage to look up Erin nibbled nervously on her bottom lip, he was giving her the same look he was that night after the gallery viewing. Except this time his intense gaze seemed to drift from her eyes and lips down to her torso then back up to her face.

The air between them was charged and only took the feeling of Sam's hand gingerly moving up her thigh for Erin to force air into her lungs again "I should probably finish getting dressed" she breathed, her voice scratchy and meek. Sam stilled his movements and then looked into her eyes and nodded, his standard smiling expression replacing the look of desire he had been wearing just a few seconds earlier "Yeah.... I'll get out of your hair" He said with a curt nod while standing to his feet.

"Speaking of hair...when did yours get so curly again?" He turned to ask on his way out of the room. 

"Oh. I stopped doing the magic perm thing a couple months ago, I've been using a flat iron to keep it straight but I decided to let it free tonight. What do you think? Too much?" Erin asked with a twinge of insecurity in her voice.

"No." Sam sighed "You look perfect."

* * *

 

The warm sensation of Samuel's hand caressing her thigh still replayed in Erin's mind; it flared up throughout her subway ride to Hongdae and the feeling continued to surround her with warmth as she walked the few blocks toward the address Brian had texted her. It was foolish of her to stop him and Erin knew that but she didn't want to go there with Sammy until she knew exactly what he wanted from her. Well besides the obvious. Sleeping with him or even just making out with him at this point would only make their friendship and living situation awkward unless they were _both_ ready to commit to whatever was building between them.

"You made it!"

Brian's lilt voice broke Erin's train of thought and she looked up to see her date for the night standing with an arm outstretched and a welcoming smile on his face. Erin nodded and brightened up as she closed the distance between them, vowing not to think about her roommate for the rest of the night.

"I was just about to call, I though you might have gotten lost," Brian said while offering her his arm.

"Ah, no just late. You refused to tell me where we're going so I didn't know what to dress for." Erin replied, all of her nervousness returning as she took hold of Brian's muscular arm.

He laughed, and the sound seemed to calm Erin but not much. "Trust me you look great, come on it's not too far from here" Brian stated and began leading them up the street.

The pair made small talk during the short walk, mostly about their day and compliments on their attire. Brian was dressed more casually than he was the first time they met, trading his button down and khaki slacks for a plain white tee, a large coat and a pair of distressed jeans. On his feet were a pair of golden brown Timberland boots, which seemed to add a few inches to his height but Erin kept that observation to herself. His hair was still blindingly orange but instead of being neatly styled and pushed back from his face it all seemed to fall forward and stop just above his eyes tonight. Erin liked being able to see his features more clearly but this way was nice too. Brian seemed like the type of guy that could put anything on and make it work for him.

"Here we are!" Brian announced as they came to a stop, Erin looked up and immediately felt all the warmth drain from her face. The sign that immediately caught her eye was DVD방 and the feeling of surprise she felt first was immediately replaced with anger as she turned to look over at Brian who seemed to be oblivious to Erin's reaction. 

"There's the most amazing little pub in the basement of this building" He started as he began leading her forward "Most nights you need a password to get in but I got my manager to put us on the list tonight."

Erin didn't say anything, only allowing herself to be led forward and down a mirrored staircase until they were standing in front of a room with an unmarked door. Brian knocked twice and a pair of thin eyes appeared from behind the slot in the middle of the door. He whispered a few things that Erin couldn't make out and after a few seconds the door opened to reveal an elaborately decorated bar.

It couldn't have been any bigger than Erin's living room and it was packed to the brim with different types of alcohol and decorations that looked like they were lifted straight from the year 1922, leaving just a bar and a few tables for seating. There was soft music playing in the background but the volume was low enough to encourage conversation and not the opposite. Brian led Erin to a table in the centre of the room and pulled out her chair for her then took a seat himself. "Have you eaten? They make really good Kimchi bokkeumbap here."

"That sounds good," Erin finally scratched out in response to his question, removing her coat and laying it across her lap.

Having gotten over her initial shock, Erin loosened up as the night went on, the bottle of soju they shared helped that, of course. They covered standard first date topics; where each of them grew up, went to school, what Erin was studying at university since Brian wasn't enrolled in college, what Brian did when he wasn't painting. The conversation ebbed and flowed in a way that was natural and didn't seem forced on either party. After a few hours had passed by Erin rested her hands on the table and gave Brian a mischievous look that made him raise his eyebrows.

"Can I say something?" She blurted out after a second.

"Of course" he replied.

"I am just so glad that you're not one of _those_ kinds of guys" Erin answered, sounding exasperated.

"What kind of guy?" he asked and leaning forward as if he was intrigued to hear her analysis of him after just a few hours.

"Y'know...the kind of guy that meets a foreign girl and expects her to sleep with him after buying her a cup of coffee and saying some cute things in Korean."

Brian's eyed widened with shock and he stammered over his words "W-why would you think that?"

"I went to high school here Brian, I know what it means when a guy brings you to a DVD방 on the first date."

"Oh my god," Brian said softly as realisation soon washed over him "I wasn't even thinking about that, I am so sorry. T-that wasn't even crossing my mind-."

"It's alright, it's alright. I figured that out once we sat down and actually started eating" Erin laughed as she tried to ease her date's nerves.

"Okay that's good" Brian sighed and relaxed in his seat. He leaned back and folded his arm across his chest for few moments, looking pensive. "Hey, since we're saying things...can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"What's the deal with your roommate? S..am was his name, right? Are you guys...like.....Or have you ever..." He was fumbling over his words and making gestures with his hands that made Erin break into a laugh and cover her mouth with her hand.

"Ah we're just friends. We've never dated or anything like that" She replied, which was mostly true. They hadn't dated. "Actually calling him just a friend doesn't seem good enough. He was the first true friend that I made after moving here and he's been my very best friend ever since. His family moved in next to mine and we all became really close, his mom even taught me Korean" Erin mused with a wide smile. "I mean I had a tutor at school and everything but she really helped me appreciate the culture behind all the words I was learning. Without Sammy or his family being there for me I don't think I would have found any happiness here when I was younger, so in a way he's more than just a friend to me. He's family."

Brian nodded as she spoke, taking note of the way she seemed to smile a little wider whenever she said her roommate's name. He thought of bringing it up but the night had been going perfectly he didn't want to risk offending her. She wouldn't be here with him if there really was something going on with her roommate right? 

"Arraso," Brian said with a small smirk "I was just wondering if I'd have to put up a fight for your heart" He teased and reached across the table to lace Erin's fingers with his own. Gentle pangs of electricity buzzed on the surface of her skin, it wasn't much compared to when Sammy touched her but still, it was something.

"I pretty sure you'd be the only one fighting for it" Erin giggled and trailed her thumb against his hand. Also, technically not a lie.

"Good."

The rest of the night went off without a hitch and soon Erin and Brian found themselves standing in front of Erin's apartment door while Erin fumbled around awkwardly to find her keys. "Thank you so much for walking me to the door, you really didn't have to." Erin said once her keys were finally in hand.

"I couldn't let you walk up those stairs alone this late at night" Brian answered and reached up to rub the back of his neck.

There was a moment of silence when their eyes connected and they both knew how they _wanted_ to end the night but neither  of them seemed to have the courage to make the first move. 

"I had a really nice time with you tonight, Erin" Brian was the first to speak and take a small step forward.

Erin nodded and matched his step with one of her own " _Really_ nice, you have to take me to that bar again sometime."

"Definitely," Brian said softly and kept moving forward until there was just a sliver of space between them. One of his hands reached up and delicately framed Erin's face, his eyes bore into her own and held her gaze until Erin silently gave him permission to proceed. He moved slowly at first, not wanting to giveaway just for much he had been wanting to kiss her. Once their lips touched, however, it only took seconds for his body to betray his mind. His lips were soft, just as soft as Erin had imagined they would be when she found caught herself staring at them earlier that night.

When their mouths connected Brian spared no time and gingerly teased her lips apart with the tip of his tongue. Against her better judgement, Erin welcomed the inclusion of his tongue between her lips, dancing her own with his. She felt herself smile against his lips as his palms smoothed dowm from her waist to grab her a handful of her ass. In one smooth movement, Brian pulled her body as close to his as possible and Erin gasped lightly, breaking their kiss momentarily. Every curve of her body was pressed against his like a puzzle piece and Erin could feel a reason for them to stop gently nudging her in the stomach.

“It's getting late” Erin murmured against his lips before pulling away.

"Yeah, it is" Brian returned as he let the grip he had on her body go lax, "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Erin nodded and waved at him slightly while he disappeared down the stairwell.

Her fingertips pressed to her lips and Erin beamed as she unlocked the front door and tiptoed into her apartment, not wanting to wake Sammy.

"How was your date?" She heard from the couch.

"Oh you're awake, I thought you'd be asleep by now"

"I couldn't sleep knowing you're out in the city with a strange man"

Erin laughed and shook her head, walking toward the couch where Samuel was stretched out on the pull out mattress and sat down next to where he laid.

"Seriously, how was it?" He asked again.

"It was.." Erin looked down at Samuels tired face, threading her fingertips through the front of his hair to push it away from his forehead then she moved her palm flat aginst his cheek and held it there for a few seconds. Samuel responded with a warm smile.

"It was good."

 


	6. Chapter 6

"No, no way I am not doing that."

"Aish, noona just try it!"

"What part of **no** are you not understanding?"

Erin bickered with her arms folded across her torso, staring defiantly back at Samuel who mimicked her stance.

It was midday on a Saturday afternoon and somehow Sammy convinced Erin to accompany him to the dance studio where he volunteered on the weekends. 'Convinced' meaning he just about held her at gunpoint and dragged her to the studio to keep him company. Usually, Erin wouldn't have had a problem waking up early and following Sam to whatever random location he suggested but these days were different. If she wasn't fighting off sleep to study for a class or her upcoming finals she was staying up to chat with Brian for just a few moments longer.

Sam was usually an easygoing person but that all seemed to change the second he stepped inside a studio, his usually goofy and jovial expression settled into an intense and focused glare, one that you would hate to be scrutinised under. Which was exactly why he and Erin had been butting heads the entire morning. Erin originally intended on just watching in the corner while he instructed his junior class, maybe doing a cute two-step when no one was watching but Samuel had other plans. Once his class was over he pulled her into the centre of the dance floor and instructed her that she was now going to be his partner for the studio showcase next month since he didn't feel comfortable dancing with any of his students.

Erin was not a great dancer, she wasn't completely without rhythm but she definitely knew she wasn't good enough to be showcased in front of a crowd. A fact that she told Sam as soon as he pulled her out of her corner.

"That's the point! You're not being showcased, I am." Samuel protested as he scrolled through his iPod for the song he had in mind. 

Erin groaned anyway and shoved her hands into the sweatpants she was borrowing from Sam for the day. "Can't you find one of the other teachers to do it with you, what about that June girl? She seems to like it when you talk to her."

"I want you," Sam said flatly, his eyes still looking down at his iPod.

Erin kissed her teeth softly and kicked the ground, there wasn't much she could argue with when he sounded so set on having her do this dance with him.

That wasn't going to stop her from trying, though. 

"Why?"  Erin asked once the sound of 'Sober' by Childish Gambino began to filter through the studio speakers. "You never asked to dance with before, why now?"

"I just want you to" Sam mumbled as he took a seat on the centre of the floor to stretch. 

"Sammy, come on don't be like that."

"Be like what, Erin?" He shot back and looked up at Erin who was now frowning.

"You know what I mean, you're mumbling and deflecting instead of talking to me" she answered.

"No I _don't_ know what you mean, why do I have to have some kind of ulterior motive? I want you to dance with me because I think you're a good dancer and you would compliment me better than the other teachers here." Sam stood to his feet and stomped back toward his iPod dock and hit pause.

"I feel more comfortable with you but if that isn't a good reason then you can leave if you want. I won't force you to do this."

Erin sank her teeth into the flesh of her bottom lip, feeling uneasy. She and Sammy didn't fight often and even when they did he never yelled at her. Yet, somehow him not yelling rattled her more than him actually raising his voice.  He always sounded so much more hurt than angry when they had disagreements and Erin hated hearing him sound upset. 

"Sorry," She muttered and turned to looked at Sammy who was still standing near the back of the studio looking down at his iPod. "It's just..I don't understand why you would want me to dance with you in the showcase of all places. I'm not that good, Sam." 

Samuel exhaled sharply, his chest deflating as if he was finally allowing his muscles to relax and held out his hand toward Erin, "Come here."

"Are you gonna hit me?"

"Erin please" Sam chuckled, "Just come to me." 

Erin pulled a hand out of her pocket and walked towards Sam's position, taking his hand once she was close enough and smiling gently when he spun her around so that she was now standing in front of him, facing one of the mirrored walls of the studio. He was standing a few inches away but Erin could still feel her skin prickle slightly whenever he exhaled or spoke and the warmth tumbled over her shoulder.

"Are you seriously going to tell me you don't understand why I would want you to dance with me?" Sam asked as he wrapped his arms around Erin's waist.

She nodded and Sam frowned, moving one of his hands so that he could tuck a finger underneath her chin and force her to look forward at her reflection.

"You sure you don't?"

"I seriously do not. I'm nowhere near as good as you are"

"Well no one's as good as me."

That comment made Erin scowl and reach backwards to whack the side of his head, hard enough to sting but not hard enough to make him let her go. She was enjoying being held by him a little bit too much.

"Ow! Okay, okay I deserved that" Sammy laughed and dropped both of his hands back down to her waist. "Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?"

Erin shrugged but looked ahead with earnest, her eyes connecting with Samuel's reflection before she gave him a quick nod.

Sam's eyes trailed up and down Erin's body at a slow speed before he focused in on her face again "I see an amazing, caring, unnecessarily humble woman who has no reason to downplay her talents. Which she has so many of," Sam took a half step forward and rested his right hand flat against Erin's stomach, she rested her hand on top of it in response and his other hand travelled upward to tuck a curly strand that escaped her ponytail behind her ear while he continued to speak.

"I see someone who has managed to make me happier than I ever thought was possible by doing nothing more than giving me her friendship. Someone who brings so much colour and light into any room just by stepping inside and smiling. Someone so.... _unbelievably_ beautiful and smart; who is going to be the best English professor Korea has ever been blessed with once she finally graduates and finds a job." 

The hazy gloss of tears misted in Erin's eyes but none fell, she was smiling too widely to allow herself to start crying. Sam noticed her expression but that didn't stop him from speaking, instead, he smoothed his left hand down over her arm and back to her waist so that he could pull her right up against his body, his face playfully nuzzling into her neck before he pressed his cheek against her own "But above all that I see my best friend, and I couldn't see myself doing this without her."

"Sammy..." Erin exhaled in a whisper, but he stopped her. He placed both of his hands on her shoulders and turned her around so that she was facing him and bent down so that he was eye-level with her.

"Now will you stop being so stubborn and just say yes?"

 "Yes." Erin nodded slowly with her hands still wrapped around her own waist.

She was sure she'd never experienced being so happy and turned on at the same time at any other point in her life, Erin imagined this is what most people felt like after they get engaged for the first time. Pure elation and raw desire with just a dash of surprise mixed in, because she was 100% sure that if she wasn't involved with Brian currently the tiny amount of control she had tethered would have been thrown out the window the second Sam put his arms around her waist.

"Thank you" Sammy smiled and pressed his lips to her temple in a chaste kiss that did not help to quell the fire burning beneath Erin's skin. "Now let's start so I can teach you the first few steps before lunch, it's seriously not hard at all" He stated and began to pull Erin back toward the centre of the room but she resisted.

"I just need, like, ten seconds to shift gears. Um, where's the bathroom?" Erin asked as she held her hands flat against her cheeks to stop them from burning so much.

"Make a right out that door and it'll be your first left" Sam replied with a hand motion toward the door. He looked concerned as Erin walked out of the studio and turned in the direction he instructed her to go, but once the doors closed behind her the look of concern on his face melted into a self-satisfied grin.

He had all intentions of letting Erin be happy with whoever she chose to be happy with if that was what she wanted to do. But to him, that didn't mean he had to stand idly by and do nothing. Sam didn't want to actively fight against her new relationship, knowing that that course of action would only work against him, but he was not going to let Erin be swept off her feet and taken away from without a fight. He cared about her too much to give up without even telling her how he felt.....when the moment was right.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Erin announced once she was back in the studio looking fresh faced and focused, her hair seemed a little damp and Samuel assumed that she much have been splashing her face with cold water because of his words.

The mental image made him smile.

* * *

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

 

 

>  
> 
>  
> 
> `Erin-ah have you eaten?`
> 
> _**`-...Sure.` ** _
> 
> `Are you lying to me?`
> 
> _**`-I haven't eaten yet but I will soon, I promise. :)` ** _
> 
> `Well now I don't trust you. Should I bring you something?`
> 
> _**`-Lol, no I'm fine really! ^.^~` ** _

 

Brian smiled gently as his eyes darted across the screen, reading Erin's message twice before locking his cell phone and placing it back in his pocket. It had only been about three weeks since he'd first met Erin but he was confident in the fact that he knew her well enough to know that if she hadn't eaten anything substantial by twelve o'clock in the afternoon she wasn't going to make the effort to have a real meal for the rest of that day and Brian just couldn't allow that to happen. So he chose to ignore her promise and take her a meal anyway, he was already out running a few errands and planned on dropping by her apartment for a surprise visit later that day.

He and Erin had only known each other for close to a month now and in that month they had been out together on three dates, well four if you count the time they ran into each other at a laundry mat and shared an ice cream while they waited for the clothes to dry. It wasn't something he initially expected to happen that night after they met at his viewing but Brian was genuinely enjoying getting to know Erin better, she was so much different from the usual type of woman he chased. Where most of the women he tended to be attracted to were vapid and sometimes downright silly; Erin had a solid head on her shoulders, the way she spoke about what she was learning at her university and her plans for the future with so much passion and intensity was such an inspiration to him. Even though they were spending so much time getting to know one another and in Brian's mind Erin was already his girlfriend, the pair still hadn't had a conversation about being exclusive. That was something that Brian planned on rectifying that today.

Three short knocks were thumped against Erin and Samuel's apartment door before Brian pressed his ear to the door to make sure that the muffled noises he was hearing were actually coming from Erin's door and that he wasn't just hearing things. His suspicions were confirmed when the door swung open and the racket of mixed voices and blaring 8-bit music hit Brian with full force. 

"You can't claim victory if you win on a technicality, Sammy! I fell off the edge you didn't touch me!"

Erin was screaming at the top of her lungs with her head turned into opposite direction, giving Brian a few seconds to scan her body which made his jaw go slack slightly and his eyebrows knit together with confusion since she wasn't wearing anything but her underwear and a tank top.

"I-um..." Brian stammered and his grip on the plastic bags tightened, but words seemed to fail him until Erin turned to face him and gave him a bright smile.

"Brian! What are you doing here I said you didn't have to come by," she squealed and lunged forward to wrap her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek before dragging him inside and out of the cold air of the hallway.

He nodded and slowly and leaned his back against the door, daring himself to look up and down Erin's body again just to make sure he wasn't imagining this. "Uh, yeah. You said you hadn't eaten and I was in the neighbourhood so I bought you something..." He paused for a second then looked from Erin over to Sammy who was currently seated on the edge of the couch hunched over with a controller in his hands and equally as undressed as Erin was.

"Am I interrupting something?" Brian asked as his nostrils flared and he did nothing to conceal the tone of anger in his voice.

 Erin raised an eyebrow at his sudden change in mood but followed his gaze down her own body before hanging her head forward and laughing slightly. "No, no. We fixed our heater!" She explained as she took one of the plastic bags from him and hooked an arm around Brian's to lead him over to the couch "It's been broken for like three months but Sammy's friend, Dun-kim-"

"Du-Jin" Sammy corrected without looking up from the screen.

"Right. Du-jin, why can't I remember that? Anyway, he's crazy good at reverse engineering things so he came over today and fixed it for us! We've been celebrating the warmth by lounging around in our underwear and kicking Sammy's ass in Super Smash Bros."

That accusation finally did make Samuel pause the game and look over, at Erin only. "Would you like me to pull up the records because I don't think winning two games out of six is considered 'kicking someone's ass'" He teased and leaned back against the couch cushions only to be hit in the head by a flying throw pillow.

Brian was still at a loss for words, his eyes squinted together as he tried to figure out whether or not the explanation actually made him feel better. The way Erin said 'lounging around in our underwear' so casually made it seem like this was an ongoing occurrence and just the thought of another man's eyes roaming over Erin's body made a pang of jealousy flash up within the boy's heart.

"O-oh." He eventually said, "That's...not weird at all."

Erin grinned and pressed her warm palms to his cool cheeks, silently thanking him for being understanding. She knew it must have been weird for him, and if she had walked in on him in his underwear with a female roommate she would have jumped to the same conclusions he probably did. 

"Yah, who are you to call me weird?" The petite brunette taunted with a playful wink and moved to rest the bag she'd taken from him on their living room table. "You are spoiling me, do you know that?" Erin queried as she tucked her feet beneath her bottom and took a seat at the table before motioning for Brian to put down his bag and join her, which he did, settling right next to her and wrapping his arm possessively around her waist so that he could pull her close to his side.

"Sammy was just about to make us something to eat, you didn't have to spend any money on me."

"I wanted to make sure you're taking care of yourself" Brian answered with a wide smirk and a playful tap against the tip of Erin's nose. She reciprocated by scrunching her nose upwards and leaning forward to peck his lips.

Sam was sure that if he had to spend another second watching them he would end up vomiting or decking Brian in his face.

Maybe both.

"I'm going to leave," Samuel said, rather abruptly, and got up from his seat on the couch.

"Hm? Oh no, Sammy you should stay," Erin implored, watching him approach the bedroom over Brian's shoulder "There's more than enough food for all of us and you haven't eaten either."

Brian's lips fell into a flat line but he didn't verbally object, he had been looking forward to eating alone with Erin but he knew her roommate had just as much right to stay if he wanted to.

Samuel stared back at Erin, seriously thinking about her request even though he knew there was no way he wanted to spend the afternoon eating with the guy Erin was seeing. When they made eye contact Erin pouted and mouthed the word 'please', making Sammy groaned and buried his face in his hands because he had never been able to say no to her when she pulled that face.

"Fine," he sighed "But I'm not eating without a shirt."

"I appreciate that!" Brian commented with a gentle laugh "Are you sure you don't want to put on some pants or...something?" He asked Erin in a murmured voice once Sam was out of the room.

"Why? You seem to like all the exposed skin" Erin retorted and nodded her head toward the spot on her thigh where Brian's hand was, he didn't even realise that he had been caressing the area with a gentle touch since he sat down.

His lips spread into a shy smile once he noticed but he didn't stop, if anything he applied more pressure into tip of his fingers that rested against Erin's upper thigh "I can't help it, your skin is so soft and smooth" Brian whispered and leaned down to capture Erin's in a teasing kiss, he gently pressed his lips against Erin's upper lip for less than a few seconds then leaned down to suck on her lower lip before pulling back and moving in to repeat his actions.

Erin put a hand against his chest and stopped him from moving forward a third time, "Well if you're going to be doing that, I need to put some pants on" She laughed, pulled away and stood to her feet while swatting away Brian's playful hands. 

"Come on, I'm fine with it now" Brian called after her, but Erin ignored him and his gaze that was focused in on her ass as she shook her head and walked away.

* * *

 

Erin tapped lightly against the bedroom before pushing it open and going inside, not waiting to make sure that Samuel was even done getting dressed. 

"So does it take this long to put on a shirt?" She asked out loud as her eyes moved over to Sammy who was laying down on the bed scrolling through his phone, still shirtless.

"I thought I'd let you and your boyfriend have some quality time, sounds like he appreciated it" Sam replied as his head tilted in Erin's direction.

"Were you listening to us?"

"The walls are thin and you're a noisy kisser, I couldn't  _not_ hear it" Sam said with a shuddering cringe. 

Erin gasped softly and bounded toward the bed, "You pervert!" she exclaimed with a laugh as she leaned over him to swat his shoulders with the pair of sweatpants in her hands. Sam guffawed and did his best to dodge the attacks, eventually deciding to grab Erin's wrists and hold them against his chest to stop her. She sighed softly and opened her palms to rest against Samuel's bare skin as she switched her position from kneeling on the edge of the bed to sitting down.

"He's not really my boyfriend y'know," Erin spoke up and grazed the fingernail of her index finger over Sam's flesh. "We've been out a few times and we talk a lot but we haven't really talked about being exclusive..."

Sam nodded and pressed his lips firmly together in thought. A big part of him wanted to be supportive and reassure her that Brian might have just been waiting for the right time to talk about it, but the petty part of him wanted to play up the doubt that may have been taking root in Erin's heart.

"Maybe he's just waiting for a good moment to making official" Samuel counseled with a smile, choosing to be a good friend and ignore his base desires. "You should get back out there," he said while releasing her wrists from his hands and sitting up.

"Yeah...maybe" Erin exhaled while looking down at Sam, he had this knack for saying exactly what she wanted and didn't want to hear whenever they talked about Brian. She loved that he didn't outright hate him but there was still that nagging in the back of her mind that hoped he would give her _something_ that pointed toward wanting to be with her. Erin shook her head to refocus herself and stood up again, "Put on a shirt and come and eat with us, I don't like knowing you haven't eaten anything."

Sam nodded and gave Erin a thumbs up as she pulled on  _his_ sweatpants and walked back out to the living room. Samuel pressed his closed fist against his forehead and silently cursed the air, flopping back against the mattress. "I'm going to go crazy..."

* * *

 

By the time Erin made her way out of the bedroom Brian had already set out the dishes he brought with him, it wasn't anything fancy just comfort food meant to fill the belly yet Erin's stomach grumbled loudly at the sight. She was a lot hungrier than she realised.

"Oh this looks so good, Brian" Erin spoke with gusto while returning her seat next Brian her head leaning against his shoulder as his arm found its way around her waist again.

Brian pressed his lips to the side of Erin's head and smiled pleasantly, enjoying the comforting feeling of having her body pressed against him. At least, he was comforted until Sammy emerged from the bedroom, thankfully with a shirt on, and joined the couple at the table. He took a seat across from them and spread his lips into an eerily complacent smile.

"So, is it just the...one bedroom here?" Brian said as everyone began feeding themselves "You two don't share that do you?"

"Not usually," Sam answered flatly while scooping a serving of rice and meat into his mouth.

Erin choked slightly on the rice she'd recently swallowed and waved both Brian and Samuel off when they asked if she was okay. She took a loud gasp of air into her lungs when she was able to breathe normally again and tried to add some context to Samuel's answer "No, we don't share it. I mean Sam keeps his clothes in there because he can't put them anywhere else but the couch here pulls out and I have the bed all to myself."

"Oh, cool" Brian nodded and continued eating silently.

Sam's lips curled upward however, he knew it was devious of him to relish in the very probable fact that Brian would excuse himself from Erin's life without Samuel having to resort to petty tricks. Sure, Erin might be sad for a bit but that's what he was there for.

Brian's head picked up for a second while he was chewing and his eyes darted around the entirety of Samuel's and Erin's living room; despite it being the holidays there wasn't anything to represent the season in the apartment.

"Erin-ah,"

"Yes?"

"Do you not celebrate Christmas?"

Erin opened her mouth to answer but then looked over at Sammy and they both started laughing. "Not exactly, I mean we exchange gifts but we don't do the whole decorations and tree thing" she replied through the laughter.

"Is there a reason why?" Brian asked cautiously since they were both still laughing and he had yet to hear anything funny.

"Oh my god. Okay, so when we moved in together Sam and I made a vow to not put up any decorations or anything like that because of what happened the last time we did. We were at my parents house and Sam thought that it would be a smart idea to decorate the tree by ourselves and I guess we put too many lights on it or the tree was too dry or something because we all got woken up in the middle of the night to a fire in my parents living room" Erin said, still chuckling "It's funny now but we really thought we going to die when it happened. Ever since then we both decided it's just safer to not decorate and do our gift exchange at a bar if we can't visit our parents, which I don't think we'll be able to do this year."

The remnants of a smile still played on Sam's lips but he stopped smiling so widely when Erin mentioned visiting their parents for the holidays. He had yet to tell her that he had the ability to go back to Busan if he wanted to but he was deciding to stay in the city for her. That wasn't a detail she needed to know right then so he just went back to eating.

"Wow, you set fire to the tree on _Christmas_? I feel like that's a signal of the antichrist or a really evil grinch" Brian smirked down at Erin who scoffed and flicked a clump of hair away from his eyes. 

"It wasn't on purpose!" She argued, "And besides it was mostly Sammy's idea anyway, I wanted to wait for everyone else."

Samuel pursed his lips and gave Erin a disbelieving look "But it was your idea to put on that extra layer of string lights" he revealed then turned his attention to Brian "I'm pretty sure that they caused the fire." It was the first sentence Samuel had said directly to Brians for the day and even though it only contained eight words it was still a start.

Erin groaned threw her head back and landed against Brian's shoulder; who was still laughing. "Alright, fine I'm the antichrist what are either of you gonna do about it?"

"We could start by getting you some actual- nonflammable- decorations to put up" Brian offered and curled his arm around Erin's shoulders, making Samuel's blood pressure spike just slightly. "What do you think, Sam? This weekend all three of us could go to the mall and look for stuff."

Samuel knew he could respond in two different ways, he could decline and let Erin and Brian go alone which would probably just draw them closer thus allowing Erin to slip just a little further away from him, or he could agree to go and risk wanting fight Brian even more than he did right now. It was instinct to go with the first option but Sam knew it would mean a lot to Erin if he made an attempt to get along with Brian, even if it was fake. There was also the possibility that him just being there would work out in his favour, he and Erin just had a natural kind of chemistry that overshadowed everything and everyone else when they were together. With any luck the shopping trip would just be another nail in Brian's coffin.

"Yeah, that sounds fun" Sam agreed with a smile that Erin reciprocated.

* * *

 

With the three of them eating it took less than an hour for the group to finish all the food that Brian brought over, and once they were finished eating and sharing a bottle of flavoured soju Erin received from her boss she convinced Brian to stick around and compete in their ongoing Smash Bros. tournament. Everyone seemed to forget about the previous awkwardness once the soju flowed and a few rounds of the video game passed. It was well after ten o'clock when Brian finally decided that it was time for him to say goodbye.

"Do you really have to go?" Erin frowned as she watched Brian stand up and stretch.

"Yeah, I do" He answered with a reassuring smile "I've got a meeting in the morning and I need the sleep."

Erinn huffed and folded her arms against her stomach but followed Brian toward the front door anyway. She grinned when he waved goodbye to Sam who responded with a peace sign and intertwined her fingers with his once they were out into the hallway. She wanted to walk him downstairs but Brian protested and asked her to say goodbye in the hall instead.

"That you so much for coming today and feeding me like a child" Erin giggled and wiped her curly hair away from her face.

"No problem, I'm happy to take care of you and I like being able to see more of your life" Brian replied then chewed on his bottom lip "I was a little worried about your rolommate being here but I kinda like him."

Erin hummed with agreeance "Yeah, Sammy's great..." 

A comfortable air of silence passed between them and Brian ran his thumb over the top of Erin's knuckles. The focused look in his eyes made it seem like he wanted to say something but he wasn't quite sure how to find the words. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about today. Um, I know we've only been getting to know each other for a little while but I was wondering if you would like to continue doing that while also dating me."

"Wait..are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" Erin tittered and looked up at him with her head tilted to the side.

Brian wasn't sure why his heart was beating so fast, he was only asking her to date him not marry him and yet he felt like he had just run a marathon as he looked down at the beautiful girl smiling up at him. "Yes, but only if you want to be."

Erin's hand tightened around Brian's and her smile doubled in size before he was even finished speaking, some small part of her heart was still waiting for a sign from Sammy but the more sensible part of her heart was telling her that this was all the sign that she needed to realise that her and Sammy would be better off remaining just friends, no matter how attracted to him she was it wouldn't make sense for her to deny the man standing in front of her just because she was waiting for the heavens to part and a divine light shine over her and Samuel.

Without words, Erin loosened her hands from Brian's; cradled his face between her palms and brought his lips down to her own, closing the space between them. Not that there was much distance between them anyways. She kissed him slowly, with no sense of urgency like the first time. This time, it was gentle and slow, and Brian moved his hand to the small of her back and the other to the cusp of Erin's neck, pressing her lower body close to his as both their heads tilted to the opposite side to deepen the kiss. This feeling was still somewhat new and foreign to Erin, she had dated her share of men in the past but, in all honesty, dating had never been a priority for her. She had school to focus on and Sammy for human support and contact so what else could she want? But with Brian now she was beginning to feel….different, like she wanted more but also like she didn’t.

"I would love to be your girlfriend" Erin whispered on his lips, pulling back just a few inches to look at Brian expression. He was smiling that amazingly wide smile that made his eyes disappear which Erin absolutely loved to see.

"Good," Brian growled and hooked his index finger under Erin's chin to bring her lips back to his "I'm really happy to hear you say that" he murmured and moved to kiss her again. He brushed his tongue along Erin’s bottom lip before he pulled at it gently with his teeth, opening her mouth up to him. A gentle moan slipped past her lips the instance their tongues touched and Erin found herself grasping at the hair on his neck a little tighter and pressing her body as close to his as her tiny frame would allow. Realistically she knew she would have to stop herself soon, them being in the hallway of her apartment building. She just wanted this small moment between her and Brian to last a little bit longer.

It seemed that Brian had the same idea since his hands left their places on her back and neck and moved downward to grab her waist, raise Erin into the air and press her between the wall and his body. Inherently Erin wrapped her legs around his waist and he pulled away, needing to breathe. But that didn’t stop his touching, his mouth kissing a trail down Erin's neck, nibbling and sucking just hard enough to have an effect and make her shudder and sigh with content beneath his touch. Brian's hips pushed forward, pressing into Erin's core and she moaned directly against his ear, feeling the hold she had on her self-control slipping away slowly.

The sound of someone coughing behind them stilled the overheated couple and the sight of Erin's elderly neighbour coming up the stairs made Brian drop Erin back down to her feet without a second thought. They both bowed politely to the woman who seemed to have no idea what she'd just interrupted as she greeted them warmly and waved as she entered her apartment. Brian and Erin made eye contact and silently laughed together, endorphins still buzzing between them.

"I should let you go, call me when you get home?" Erin said while fixing her tank top.

Brian nodded and pulled her forward by her neck to press his lips to her forehead "I will. Goodnight."

Back in the apartment, Samuel had already pulled out his bed and was curled up on his side by the time Erin came back inside. He felt the bed dip next to him and the scent of Brian's cologne on Erin's skin made him wince.

"Are you going to bed without saying good night? So rude" Erin whispered.

"I'm not sleeping yet, noona~" He cooed sweetly in a way that made Erin laugh and cringe at the same time.

When she walked around to his side of the bed Erin felt the urge to tell him about her moment in the hall, not the kissing, just the part about her and Brian becoming official, but now  that she was looking at him she didn't feel that desire anymore. There was always tomorrow.

"Want noona to sing you to sleep?"

"Please, god, no" Samuel replied quickly "You could do that thing you used to do though, that always helped me sleep better." 

Erin thought about hitting him for insulting her singing abilities but decided against it and moved around on the pull out couch so that she was laying flat on her back then held her arms open for Sammy to join her. Her hands wrapped around him once his head was resting against her chest and Erin began gently raking her fingertips against his scalp then slowly smoothing her hand over his cheek and back up again. She could feel him exhale against her and the soft hums of pleasure he made while she held him made her smile. Erin wasn't exactly sure when they'd slept like this for the first time or why it became a habit but for whatever reason Sammy always slept like a literal baby when she ran her hands through his hair or over his skin. 

"Goodnight noona, love you" Erin heard her roommate half whisper, half yawn against her skin and the words made her heart soar as they always did, no matter how many times she'd heard him say it before.

"I love you too Sammy." 


	8. Chapter 8

Erin's fingertips moved furiously over the the keyboard of her laptop and her head bopped along in time to the loud  music playing in her earphones. She had less than a week to prepare for her final two exams of the year and to say that she had been procrastinating doing so was a gross understatement. Between Brian and well....really Brian was the only thing truly distracting her from completely focusing on her schoolwork. She was used to Sammy's intrusions and often found a way to study around his periodic outbursts but Erin hadn't quite figured out how to balance out studying and showing her boyfriend his due attention.

**Boyfriend**.

The term still seemed weird to her and it had only been one day since Brian aquired it. Erin assumed that was natural since they were still in the early stages of getting to know one another. His asking her to be his girlfriend was just a formal agreement that she wouldn't attempt to get to know someone else at the same time. At least thats how Erin looked at it, then again her views of dating were always a little weird compared to others.

"Noona!"

Erin heard herself being summoned for the fifth time that night, this time the 'ah' was drawn out so long Erin thought that he might run out of breath and pass out. He didn't, of course, but the yelling and general noise making didn't stop when Erin chose to ignore her roommate and continue with her work. Erin didn't know what he was calling her for but she was fairly certain that there was no way it was more important that what she was currently doing, he would tire himself out eventually and then Erin could look forward to a peaceful night of reading and essay writing. At least so she thought.

" _I know, you're my saviour_ " Erin heard the words of the song she was currently playing echoed in her left ear and the heat of Samuel's body pressed against her side momentarily before he disappeared behind her. 

" _I know some pleasure_ " The next verse was repeated in Erin's right ear and again she ignored him, her eyes remaining glued to the screen.

It wasn't until she felt a pair of strong arms wrap tightly around her shoulders and Sam's chin rest on her shoulder that Erin finally decided to stop typing and groan loudly in frustration. 

"Park Sang-Min! I swear to god I will punch you in the throat, what the hell do you want?" Erin asked in an exasperated tone as she spun around to glare at the face of a child who had just been scolded.

"Come out with me."

"Are you kidding me? I don't have time to joke around with you right now, Sammy."

"I am completely serious. You've been tearing over these books and printouts the whole day, you need a break." Samuel said softly and released Erin from his hold.

"I can't do that, if I don't pass both of these exams then I won't graduate and I am not going through another year of this."

"You know these textbooks better than the back of your hand and you're just going to burn yourself out if you don't take a little break sometime."

Erin exhaled harshly and pressed a hand against her forehead, she was beginning feel a little drained and the words she was reading were beginning to blur together in an indecipherable way.

Maybe Sammy was right. 

"Just a tiny little break okay?" Erin clarified, making it apparent that she had no intentions of leaving their apartment.

"Small, minuscule break."

* * *

 

This definitely was not a small, little break.

Erin wasn't even sure how it happened, one second she was fighting Sam on taking a few shots in their kitchen and the next thing she knew they were both three shots of tequila deep and on their way out the door in search of a place to dance and hopefully drink more.

And drink they did, Erin more so than Samuel which was the usual. Apparently she needed to blow off more steam than she orginally thought.

As the night wore on Samuel begun feeling less and less inebriated, and one guy had the misfortune of getting too hands-y with his roommate, which made the amused smirk he was wearing while watching Erin float around the dance floor fall into an angry glare. 

Erin was clearly drunk and the sleazy vultures in the bar picked up on it, targeted her, and moved in to pick her apart, entice her to the nearest exit with the promise of a good time. Samuel figured they had already had their fun for the night and it was time to go.

He gripped Erin's arm to make her look at him. "Let's go home."

The drunk she was subtly trying to avoid dancing with didn't seem too happy about the interruption. He opened his mouth to complain, but Samuel cut him off.

"Fuck off."

"Who the fuck you think you're talking to?"

"No one," Sam dismissed him and tugged Erin upwards.

"Yah," The stranger exclaimed and reached for Erin's other arm.

Sam moved to step in between them, his jaw square. "Save yourself a trip to the ER and let. Her. Go." Sam wasn't exactly a threatening figure but he knew he could handle himself in a fight if it came to that.

Luckyily the guy had the forsight to see that this confrontation was not worth the possibility of him getting hurt. "Whatever," he huffed and smartly walked away.

Erin and Samuel shuffled to another part of the bar.

She was piss drunk and yet her watery, red streaked eyes still managed to sparkle when Samuel looked at her. "You were going to fight that guy?"

"Maybe," Sam shrugged and silently checked their surroundings, making sure that the douchebag didn't round up any of his friends to attempt to jump them later.

"Aigoo, Sammy you _love_ me," Erin slurred.

"Possibly," Sam grinned.

"Can we dance to one more song?"

"No."

" _Please_ , Sammy. It was your idea to come out anyway."

Erin pouted but Samuel managed to fortify himself against her full bottom lip, refusing to crack.

"It's late and both of us have to work in the morning."

Erin was full on scowling at this point but didn't fight as Sam led her to the entrance and then both of them were outside, taking in the chilly air.

"You weren't having any fun?" she hiccupped.

"I stopped having fun about two shots ago. But hey, you were drinking enough for the both of us."

Erin giggled again and leaned her head fully against Samuel's side.

Three hard drinks were her limit and Erin knew that. Tonight she was definitely testing her liver and kidneys ability to break down the components of tequila, rum, and god knows what else.

"My feet hurt," she whined.

Sam stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and leaned down "Get on."

It took three tries before Erin was able to climb on his back. She giggled the entire time.

"My ass is showing. I can feel it," Erin laughed.

Sam joined in too. He always found her adorable when she was sober. But drunk Erin was the kind you wanted to film and blackmail later just to see her get angry because there was nothing hotter or sexier. She had a way of looking at him that could cut to the depths of his soul and Sam could see his death in her eyes. Yet there was the other side of her he wanted to protect, shelter, wrap up and place in his back pocket for safe keeping.

"I need you to promise me we'll always be this close, Sammy."

"Of course we will."

"Even after I tell you that Brian asked me to be his girlfriend?"

Samuel paused for half a second but kept moving forward, pretending that her revelation hadn't bothered him at all. "Why would that make us not close?"

"I know you don't like him."

Samuel chuckled silently and without humour, nothing got past his best friend. 

"That's not true, I just didn't want you to get hurt. If you like him and he treats you well then that's good enough for me." He lied.

"I think I really do like him" Erin mused and pressed her cheek against Samuel's.

"Great."

* * *

After hitching her higher along his back several times because she kept slipping, Sam and Erin finally made it back to their apartment. Erin was singing about riding a surfboard and drinking watermelon and Samuel had no clue what she was talking about.

He dumped her momentarily on the couch and headed to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. Her cell phone started ringing since she had forgotten it on the kitchen counter. Samuel looked at the name on the screen, looked at Erin, then back at the screen, and hit the ignore button. She was in no condition to talk to anyone at the moment.

Brian could leave her a message as far as Sammy was concerned. It wasn't too late, but late enough to be considered booty call hours by his standards.

With the glass of water in his hands Sam strolled back to the living room only for Erin's phone to start ringing once again.

"Is my phone ringing?"

"Ignore it."

"It could be important."

"It's not," Sam handed her the glass which she accepted but only drank a tiny sip. "Finish it."

Erin's brown eyes darkened, and she glared up at him, but chugged the water anyway and thrust the empty glass back against Sam's chest.

"Why aren't you drunk?" Erin curled up on the couch.

"I know my limits." he laughed "Why were you determined to get wasted?"

"I thought that's what we went out to do. Don't question me right now, my head hurts."

"Come on," Sam pulled her up. "You need to get to bed."

Erin stumbled into her room, mumbling incoherently, and tossed herself on the mattress then began fumbling around with hem of her top. She was having trouble realizing that it needed to be unbuttoned and not pulled over her head.

Wordlessly Samuel went in to assist her, and when his fingers brushed against her arms, Erin moaned softly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just…I feel so sensitive right now."

"Oh."

Without any more questions, Sam squatted downward and helped Erin unbutton her blouse, pushed the fabric off her shoulders, and dropped it on the floor. His eyes moved over her lacy camisole long enough to realize that she wasn't wearing a bra and his cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink when he felt the need to kiss her flare up within him once again.

Instinctively his tongue peeked out to moisten his bottom lip and when his gaze finally fell back on Erin's face, he saw a distinctive look in her eyes.

It was the same look she had given him all those years ago on his graduation night. The kind of look that led to clothes coming off and body parts being caressed and fondled. _That_ look. 

Immediately Sam clamored to his feet and put space between them. "You should get some rest, noona. I'll see you in the morning."

Sam was out the door and on the couch before Erin could say anything, even just suggesting that he sleep with her that night like they had many times before. If she had, Sam wasn't sure if he'd been able to turn her down, say no. It was different when she was relatively single and he had the option of stealing her attention away from a guy she'd been out with just a few times, but there were labels involved now and Samuel finally caught on to just how stupid he was for waiting so long to say anything. 


	9. Chapter 9 [m]

Erin felt like crap. The second she woke up she was overcome with the feeling of monkeys playing bongos on her temples and every bone in her body that could ache did. A long drawn out groan left her lips as she tried and failed in getting out of bed, the sun was already high in the sky and she was positive that this was the latest she’d ever woken up since her first year of university. The palm of her hand rested as gently as it could on the side of her temple as she did her best to push herself upward and out of her sheets. 

The worst part of this was that she couldn’t even remember why she was in so much pain. Erin was positive that she spent the night in her apartment so what could have gotten her so unbelievably wasted? The last thing she remembered was sitting in the living room begging Sammy to leave her alone and let her study.

Ah, Sammy.

If anyone would know why her head was currently doing gymnastics he would.

"Sammy," Erin said hoarsely as she shuffled out into the living room, but she was met with silence which was unusual because Samuel was never silent. 

"Sam!" She called again but once she got to the couch she realized that he wasn't answering her because he wasn't home. There were only two places he could be so early in the day and Erin knew he didn't have any classes that day, so he must have been at work. A few seconds after the word 'work' popped into her head Erin's eyes bulged open and she sprinted back towards her room to grab her cell phone.

How could she have forgotten that she was covering for someone today?

Erin scolded to herself as she tore around the room looking for her cell. Once it was in hand she wasted no time in checking her voice mails, three were from her supervisor and none of them were pleasant. One was from Brian but she didn't have time to check that or the messages he'd sent her, her only priority for now was getting ready for work as quickly as possible while she still had a job.

Erin was showered and dressed in a flash, her hair slapped up into a messy bun and just a dab of BB cream slathered over her face before she dashed towards the door. As her hand grabbed the knob to twist it open something taped to the peephole caught her attention and made her stop for just a moment.

> Erin-Ah ^-^~  
>  You're going to be late today, I should have woken you up before I left but you looked so peaceful drooling into your pillow. I know you won't read your phone this morning so I'm leaving you this note. Try not to stress out too much I know how you think but you know they won't fire you over this, you've never been late before.  
>  Have a good day!!! Work hard!!!! I'm rooting for you!!
> 
> Love, Sammy.  
>  P.S When you get home there's something I really need to talk to you about.

Erin smiled and folded the note up to place in her jacket pocket, she always loved receiving these hand written notes from her roommate whenever they missed each other in the morning time. Her mind traveled as she made her was out of her building onto the sidewalk, wondering what he could possibly need to talk about that couldn't be mentioned in the letter but Erin came up blank. Unless something happened last night that she didn't remember, maybe she did something embarrassing when they went out. Or something embarrassing when they got home? She didn't puke on him did she? And even if she had would that warrant a discussion?

Erin settled somewhat once she finally got into a cab and started on her way further into the city. She was about ten minutes away from her job when a muddled memory buzzed her conscious, she remembered being on her bed with Sammy kneeling in front of her unbuttoning her top and tossing it aside. She remembered wanting to feel his lips against hers among other things and then...

Nothing.

Erin tapped her hand against her head  in an attempt to jog her memory but that proved to be an idiotic idea since it made her headache even worse. That couldn't have been the last thing she remembered if it was then all signs were pointing to the fact that she may have made a very stupid decision last night and she couldn't even remember it.

She wanted to call Sammy and put her mind at ease before she got to work but before she could unlock her phone she was in the front of her office building and preparing to shuffle her way inside. Her supervisor seemed to be waiting for her once she reached her floor and it took nearly half an hour to explain why she was late and get her supervisor to leave her alone before she could start working. Every step sent shock waves of pain throughout Erin's body and it didn't help that everyone needed her to do some mindless task for them that day. The menial things took so much energy out of her that she actually had to stop and take a breather while she was making copies. Copies.

This was definitely going to be a rough day.

* * *

 

Erin had managed to make it all the way to her lunch break without barfing or cursing someone out for standing too close to her and she was rewarding herself by taking a breather on the rooftop garden her boss maintained. It was freezing outside but the cold and coffee she sipped were keeping her awake.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and the corner of Erin's lips turned up into a smirk. She knew exactly who it was before she checked. She had managed to send Brian a quick text apologizing for ignoring his messages from last night and this morning. Erin choked on the small sip of coffee when she opened the message and rested the cup on the ground next to her. 

Brian had sent her a selfie, a shirtless one. At 12:30 in the afternoon. Erin returned the favor by sending him a selfie of with her jaw dropped open.  It only took a few seconds for him to call her back.

"I want to hear the noise you made when you saw my selca."

Erin laughed, honestly happy to hear his voice even if he was being indecent in the middle of the day. 

"Who said I made a noise? Maybe that was me being disgusted."

"Don't lie to me, Erin."

She chuckled softly and threw her head back, a bad idea since she immediately began wincing.

"You left me speechless, Brian." Erin groaned and rubbed her temples

"Your face does that to me every time I see it."

Erin groaned louder smiled even wider, if that was possible, and pressed her hands against her cheeks to cool down the heat that was caused by Brian's words.

"Brian I am at _work_ ," Erin said in a warning tone even though she was beyond amused.

"I know, I know" He laughed "I just missed talking to you...Hey, are you busy tonight?"

"I shouldn't be"

"Good, because I'm making you dinner."

"Aw, Bria-" Erin's words were cut off by the beeping of her phone to signify that her lunch break was over and she had to get back to work.

"Sorry I have to go, I'll see you tonight?"

"Ah, I won't keep you, work hard. See you tonight."

* * *

 

It only took a few minutes for Erin to get ready and leave her empty apartment, she didn't know where Sammy was but there was no time figure it out.

Judging by the address he sent her Brian lived about half an hour away from Erin's apartment and Erin fretted the entire taxi ride there. She was feeling miles better than she did this morning but it was also the first time Brian had ever invited her to his place and Erin had so many questions.

When the cab rolled to a stop in front of a slightly run down building Erin almost didn't get out of the car. The neighborhood didn't look unsafe but it definitely didn't seem like a place Erin wanted to wander around alone. It wasn't until she saw Brian standing outside waiting for her, looking cold but still so attractive with the long sleeves of his shirt pulled over his hands, that Erin released the breath she was holding in.

Erin tossed her fare in the driver's direction and quickly exited out onto the sidewalk.

"Sorry I"m late!" She said once she was close enough and Brian turned to look at her like she had just descended from heaven.

"Don't worry about it, you look beautiful."

His arms were around her waist, pulling Erin's body close to his own and lips pressed against Erin's in no time. She felt her frigid body melt against his despite the cold and Erin returned his kiss with vigor, her arms encircling his neck and fingertips playfully threading through his hair. One would think they hadn't seen each other in weeks, not two days.

"I hope you're hungry" Brian murmured against Erin's lips once he'd finally stopped ravishing her mouth.

"I hope you can cook."

Her reply garnered a sincere laugh from Brian as he lead her inside his apartment.

As it turned out he actually owned the entire building and decided to leave the outside as is because he enjoyed the worn look of it. The majority of the space was occupied by a makeshift studio where Erin presumed that he spent most of his time painting, there was a small corner where a kitchen had been built and another where a loft bedroom was built with an office underneath it.

Tonight there was a single table set up in the middle of the floor with two place settings and a candle between them.

Erin gasped softly when she walked inside and sight came into full view, complete with fairy lights to gently illuminate them as they sat.

"Brian this is beautiful," She stated softly as he took her coat from her.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it"

"I'm so relieved, I was worried you would think it's cheesy," He said shyly before motioning for her to take a seat.

Erin giggled "It is a little cheesy, but in a nice way."

Brian ignored her teasing and pressed his lips to her temple before moving to the kitchen to grab dinner.

"Can I ask what you made tonight?" 

"You could, but I might not tell you."

"Okay~ I just hope it's edible."

Brian guffawed.

"Why do you think I can't cook?" he asked as he walked back towards Erin with two plates of pasta in his hands.

"I don't know that many men that can **really** cook. I mean Sammy can make ramyun but that doesn't require much skill, I asked him to make me kimchi fried rice once and we almost had to call the fire department."

Brian smiled, but mentally began his tally on how many times Erin was going to mention her roommates name that night. It was a game he began torturing himself with on their first date and he was alway the loser.

"Well it's not ramyun but I hope you like fettuccine," he said with a playful wink as he set down a plate in front her Erin before taking a seat on the other side of the table.

Erin grinned and took a quick bite of the dish then looked at Brian in disbelief  "This is really good," she said as if she didn't believe her own words.

Brian responded with a prideful smile and a slight bow of his head.

"So, how was your day?" Erin asked while twirling more pasta on her fork.

"Nerve wrecking."

"Why?"

"I had four meetings lined up with potential buyers and every time I tried to explain the inspiration behind one of my pieces, it was like I forgot how to talk," he laughed. "My mind was too preoccupied on getting everything perfect for tonight."

Erin blushed, offering her boyfriend a shy smile "I hope I didn't cost you a sale."

"No, I managed to make up something eventually three of the buyers are coming to pick up paintings tomorrow."

"Good because I had no intentions of paying you back."

They shared a good-natured laugh and returned to eating, a pleasant conversation soon ebbing between them. Erin told Brian about her difficult day at work and the night out she'd shared with Sammy which _caused_ her difficult day at work. She conveniently forgot to mention the possible ending of their night out, not because she wasn't riddled with guilt over the possibility that she may have cheated on Brian so soon into their relationship. But because she didn't know for a fact that she'd cheated on him, she could still only remember bits and pieces from the night before and there was no definitive proof that anything happened between them other than Erin's overactive imagination and hopeful wish fulfillment. Sammy had helped her get dressed and undressed when she wasn't able to do it herself multiple times before, that memory of him removing her shirt could have been totally platonic. 

"Well, Erin?"

Brian's voice made Erin stop day dreaming Sammy and focus her gaze on him, he must have asked her a question but Erin obviously wasn't paying attention.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"Do you want dessert? I bought a cake but I wasn't sure if you'd still be hungry"

"Oh, yes I would love dessert! Let me help you with the dishes"

Erin quickly stood up and began stacking their plates together even though Brian protested, she ignored him and followed as  he moved to the kitchen to grab the cake out of the refrigerator. Erin dumped the dishes in the sink and glanced over at Brian as he started unboxing his store bought cake, brown eyes roamed over the profile of his face and down to the subtle veins that exposed themselves in his neck with one of the tags holding the box gave him some trouble. She smirked gently when he finally did manage to get it open and biceps flexed underneath his tight white shirt, had his shirt alway been this tight? Before she stopped herself Erin's eyes were moving downward and shamelessly she ogled his tight ass when he turned to grab a knife and fork from a nearby drawer. 

She got caught staring when Brian looked back at her over his shoulder and when their eyes met he raised a brow and shot Erin a seductive smirk.

"Pervert," he said playfully and pulled Erin near to him by a hook on her jeans.

"You're an artist, you should be able to understand wanting to appreciate a masterpiece" She replied with a chuckle and leaned back against the counter.

Brian grinned and shook his head, moving to stand in front of her and placed both of his hands on either side of her body.

"Nice save, but you're still a pervert- open"

"I can live with that" Erin answered as she held her mouth ajar and Brian fed her a small piece of cake before taking a bite himself.  
"Are you going to feed me the whole cake? Because I don't think I have the self-control to stop you" Erin joked as she prepared for another forkful.

“I could do that" Brian answered and pulled the prongs of the fork from between Erin's parted lips. “But I’d prefer to do this,"  His strong arm slipped around her waist and hugged her tightly to his chest, leaning in to softly press his lips against her throat.

Erin giggled softly as Brian hugged her tightly in his arms and nibbled on the skin of her neck. They hadn't been dating for an exceptionally long time but it seemed like Brian knew just how to touch Erin to make her senses go haywire. Though it didn't really take much. A soft kiss to her neck, a firm grip on her thigh, even his chest pushing against hers got her aroused. She grasped his side, tugging gently on his shirt, pulling him closer against her. 

“You sure you want to do that?” Erin teased, running her hand under his shirt and grazing her fingertips over his hard abs making Brian's lips curl up in a warm smile against her throat.

He answered her taunt by abandoning her neck and moving his head upward to capture her lips in a heated kiss. Without much effort, Brian lifted his girlfriend into his arms while he palmed her ass with one hand and the other gripped her waist and rested her against the surface of the counter. Erin yelped softly when he hoisted her up as if she weighed nothing and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist once she was sitting on the counter and Brian was standing between her legs. 

Erin was careful to be conscience of her movements, restraining the urge to roll her hips forward. She had a decent amount of self control but honestly it was dwindling by the second. Every time his tongue stroked against her own and she felt the silent vibrations of a groan hum beneath his chest Erin felt her desire for him grow more urgent. 

"It's getting late..." Erin said as she leaned back, her hands clutched tighter to the back of his neck as their lips separated and she took a much needed huff of air while Brian began moving his lips against her neck again and cutting off the moan that wanted for escape from her throat. "I should get going."

Brian smirked and tilted his head upward upward to look Erin in the eyes, the look on his face conveying just how much he didn't want her to leave yet. 

"Do you really want to go?"

He accompanied his question with a tender peck to Erin's lips, his hands pushing up the hem of her skirt and massaging the skin on her thighs. Erin shivered and bit down on her bottom lip, every inch her body was begging her to stay and continue their moment but as per her usual Erin was over thinking the outcome of this situation. Were they moving too fast? Or too slow? They had been seeing each other for just over a month so maybe this was long overdue. All these thoughts were buzzing through her mind but then Brian's lips were slowly trailing against her skin again, leaving wet open kisses wherever he could find a section of exposed skin. His hands were gripping her waist and roaming, moving up Erin’s torso to squeeze her breasts gently through her shirt. When that happened, Erin lost what little control she’d previously had and moaned heavily against his ear, her head leaned forward and her teeth tugged on his earlobe gently. 

"I'll take that as a no" He laughed gently, not doing anything to hide the grin on his face, he was glad to hear that she wanted him just like how he wanted her. Brian gathered Erin in his arms and lifted her off the counter gently her legs still wrapped tightly around his waist. She didn't feel the need to ask where he was taking her, the look in his eyes gave her all the answers she needed. In no time, they were up the stairs that led to his loft and Brian was placing Erin gently on the surface of his bed while he leaned down and attempted to kiss her again.

Erin stopped him and scooted backwards a bit to get a full look at his face, the memory of her Sammy from last night playing back in her head again. Now would have been a good time to tell him, before they took this step in their relationship and developed feelings that would make everything more complicated for everyone involved. It would be a chance for Erin to get everything off her chest and have a conversation about their future, not just what might have happened between her and Sam but how she felt about him and the fact that Erin was beginning to realize that that feeling was probably never going to fade completely.

But Erin just couldn't do it.

Not until she knew without a doubt that she had a legitimate reason to toy with his heart. Her drunken half memory was not good enough.

She ran her thumb over his soft bottom lip, then did the same thing with his top lip. Brian kept his eyes on her but didn't move other than putting his hands on her hips. She leaned forward until they were only a hair apart and looked into his deep brown eyes. He smiled, and she smiled back, and they continued to look at each other until she finally kissed him softly. Their eyes stayed connected as she kissed him over and over and alternated between sucking his bottom and top lip. Their eyes only closed when he sneaked his tongue into her mouth and she couldn't fight the moan that escaped.

It was as if a light switch had been flipped because both their bodies came alive instantly. Brian whipped his t-shirt off and was on her in an instant. She sank her hands into his hair and met his tongue, stroke for stroke. Erin switched their positions so that he was beneath her and leaned her head to the side to get the maximum amount of pleasure from his mouth, her hips took on a life of their own as she ground against him, up and down and side to side. They moaned together, and Erin hadn't realized how much she wanted him until right then. She also hadn't realized that his hands were in the exact same position, holding her hips in a vice grip. She assumed that he was letting her control the ride and determine how far they did or didn't go. And that made her melt inside.

She pulled her lips away from his and slid down so that her mouth was on his neck. She switched between kissing and sucking his smooth pale skin and every time he tensed underneath her, Erin knew that he was fighting not to flip her over and ravage her right there. She kissed down his bare chest and teased his nipples with the tip of her tongue.

"Shit, Erin," he groaned.

A jolt of arousal shot straight down her legs at the way he said her name and she pushed herself down on him harder than before, forcing his erection right where she wanted it. She moaned and bit down on his lip, which he seemed to enjoy more than she thought he would. Erin pulled him up, so that she was straddling him, and watched his hooded eyes as she slowly pulled her shirt off. She felt a seconds worth of uncertainty but that vanished with the way Brian stared at her breasts like they were the best things he'd ever seen. He licked his lips but still didn't move his hands.

"Touch me," she whispered hotly.

Apparently that was the only nudge he needed. Brian secured her position in his lap with one arm around her waist while the other wrapped around her back. His mouth immediately took possession of her right breast and he devoured it like he was starving. Erin's head fell back and she whispered to him how amazing his mouth felt on her. He licked, sucked and bit her sensitive flesh with just the right amount of pressure, over and over until Erin was sure that might come just from this action alone. He stopped and switched to the other one, working her up more and more with each caress of his tongue.

Brian finally relented and dipped his head down as low as it would go to kiss all over her stomach. He switched their positions and laid her down on his comforter, continuing his quest down her body. She shivered with want and met eyes with him as he slowly pulled her skirt and panties down and revealed her nude form to him. He grunted in amazement and grabbed his constrained erection pressing against his bottoms. He used his free hand to spread Erin's legs and when it looked like he was going to bend down and go to work on her, she grabbed him by the shoulders and shook her head.

"Next time," she said, her voice raspy with lust. "I want you right now."

He made quick work of removing his jeans and boxers and she pulled him on top of her. Their mouths met in a messy, desperate kiss and she whimpered when he rubbed his tip against her warm center.

"You're so wet," he groaned.

"And it's all for you," she whispered, which only made him groan again, that coupled with the feeling her hand gently moving up and down his hard length.

“W-wait,” he murmured, sitting up and reaching for his bedside table, not wanting to leave her body. Brian just barely reached the familiar feeling of a foil wrapper and caught it between his fingers, quickly tearing the package open and using the latex to cove himself. He pulled her back to him, settling between her legs and kept his eyes on her face as he guided himself inside her and paused once she gasped and he felt her flinch beneath him. He brushed back the spirals of curls from clouding her face, wanting to make sure she was comfortable. “You alright, jagi?” he asked, his eyes searching for any sort of discomfort.

Erin nodded quickly and blushed at her reaction "It's just been a while, I'm fine"  she replied with a soft chuckle "But hey..that's the first time you've called me that."

"Called you what?"

"Jagi, I like it"

Brian grinned and rested his forehead against Erin's shoulder, his hips swiveled slightly against Erin's even though he was truly trying not to move for Erin's sake. He didn't want to hurt her but there was only so much he could do to remain still while she was wrapped so tightly around him. 

"Are you ready for me, jagiya?" Brian whispered against her ear and pressed his pillow soft lips to the skin beneath her earlobe. 

Erin nodded and slowly he pulled back until the head of his member was lined up with her entrance, reaching between them to tease her with strokes up and down her slit. Then he finally slid his entire length into her, stopping only when he reached the hilt. Erin's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she groaned so loudly that she was sure his neighbors could hear her.  He began to move, slowly, pushing in and out of her at very slow pace, feeling every inch of her, and letting her do the same.

"Oh god...Brian" Erin managed to gasp as her hips moved in time with his, his name tumbling from her lips again and again as he picked up the pace so that he was now pounding into her. The sounds of his breathing and grunts, mixed with Erin's soft moans and whimpers and the sound of skin on skin was a symphony that filled Brian's studio space. 

“Baby… fuck,” lifting his head back up, Brian gazed down at her and took in her expressions of pleasure with pride before dipping down and capturing her lips in a sloppy, passionate kiss. A thin layer of sheer sweat formed over their bodies, and his grip on her waist tightened. With every moan and word to slip past her pouty plump lips, Brian felt his length  twitch deep within her. It took everything in him to hold out until she had reached her own climax.

Bringing one of her legs up over his shoulder, Brian looked down to where their bodies met and groaned at the sight. Her soaking heat taking him in with every stroke, her juices covering his length while he plowed into her at an increased speed. Holding her leg up just a little bit higher, he could feel himself hitting her hilt while her core quivered around him. Chest heaving and sweat dripping down his body, his hair becoming damp, Brian felt his undoing approaching him.

Reaching down between them, he placed a slick thumb on her swollen clit and began rubbing furiously. “Come on, baby. You gonna come?” Grunting matching with his thrusts, he was determined to get her finish before he did— and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Erin felt her clit throb intensely and her walls twitch around his member. She couldn’t hold back the sharp, loud moans that left her mouth.  Erin released a sensuous moan into the air and she felt her entire body coil then suddenly stiffen as her orgasm rocked through her hot core. As soon as Erin hit her climax, Brian allowed himself to be overcome with pleasure. He gripped onto her skin tightly, sloppily and mercilessly pounding into her before he released himself and his face buried in her neck as he let out a string of profanities. He slowly lowered his entire weight on top of her, his head resting snugly against her breasts.

The room was silent except for the sounds of their heavy pants and stray whimpers. Brian slowly removed himself from her body and Erin worked up the strength to turn and look at him. Their eyes met and he smiled. Which made Erin smile and a flicker of warmth flare up within her. Lazily, she reached over to cradle his face as Brian pulled her into his arms and threaded his fingertips through her curly nest of hair.

Erin wanted to say something while she laid there with his rapid heartbeat returning to normal against her eardrum, but everything that came to mind just made it sound like she was complimenting a male escort. When she tilted her head upwards and Brian leaned down to kiss her again gently again Erin realized that maybe for once she really didn't need to say anything. 


	10. Chapter 10

Sammy stopped waiting for Erin to return long after the sun had set and the plates of food he'd set out for both of them grew cold and inedible. His intentions for the night were simple; treat Erin to a highly deserved meal prepared by someone who was not him, commend her for how hard she had been working lately in order to do as well as she could on her few remaining final exam and somehow during the night offhandedly mention the fact that he was in love with her and probably has been since the first time they met. Just to gauge her reaction. It was a simple plan that didn't require any extra factors to be accomplished but it definitely did require Erin to be present, which she was not.

A frown turned down the corners of Samuel's lips and created an expression that was rarely seen on his naturally bright and cheery face.  With one final glance down at his cell phone that had been quiet all night, Sam huffed and pushed himself back from the coffee table then stood up. It was well after 12 and Erin hadn't called, texted or left any indication of where she might have been and what was taking her so long to come back home. He thought about calling her as he blew out the single candle that was placed in the middle of the coffee table, Samuel argued with himself the entire time he put away the extra food and ultimately decided that he shouldn't. He was worried about her but that didn't really give him ample reason to treat her like a child breaking curfew, especially since he had a vague idea of where could be at this hour.

Samuel knew that Erin wasn't exactly a party-going socialite so she couldn't have been out dancing; if she was staying late at the library or work she would have texted him or left a note for him somewhere when she came home. He had also taken note of the aftermath of clothing and makeup left behind by hurricane Erin all over her room which meant she went someplace where she wanted to look her best and there was only one reason Erin really dressed up these days. 

Brian.

The image of that orange-haired punk putting his hands on Erin made Sammy grit his teeth and fling his body back against the couch. He was letting his imagination get the better of him but just thought of anyone but him comforting Erin after a long day at work, touching her or anything else made Samuel's blood boil. His feelings were irrational and childish and even if Samuel recognised that it wouldn't have stopped the anger that found root in his heart or the ache that panged him after he allowed his agitation to settle down.

Erin was no longer _just his_.

She was content in finding happiness elsewhere and Samuel had to find a way to accept that. They were getting older and even though he would have loved to, Sam supposed they couldn't continue to simply play house for the rest of their lives. Eventually, they had to grow up and maybe that meant growing apart too.

* * *

 

Brian was normally a late riser. It was never unusual for him to still be in a deep sleep well after 12 in the afternoon but today was different. Today he was up with the sun and the scent of lingering arousal and a familiar gentle aroma of woman’s perfume filled his nose. The first thing he felt was something against his face, warm, soft brown and ticklish. A yawn forced his jaw to go slack as the sunlight shone through the window, brightening up his bedroom. A nest of brown hair rested below his nose, belonging to the naked feminine body that was cuddled up against him. 

He swept a few strands of her hair away from Erin's slumbering face as a small, tender smile crept upon his lips. Her current expression was in such contrast to the one she was wearing just a few hours ago when she crying out with pleasure beneath him. Now she was so quiet. So calm. Brian wasn't sure which one he liked better. He pressed a kiss on her earlobe, then traveled down to her neck and brushed his lips gently against her skin until she stirred slightly and turned to her side, muttering something that sounded like 'Quit playing Sammy', but Brian couldn't be sure.

He ignored the doubt and peeled himself away from Erin's body, the cold air of his loft attacking his body the second he was no longer covered by the plush comforters. Brian pulled a pair of joggers on his lower body and decided that he might as well pick up the rest of the clothing that had randomly landed around the floor of his bedroom while he was at it. In a careful and lazy manner he retrieved most of Erin's clothes and placed them on the edge of the bed near where she lay, he grinned again when Erin rolled onto her back and spread her arms out at her side. Her jacket was in his hand and he was about to place on the bed with the rest of her clothes but something fell out of the pocket and  gave him pause. 

Brian knew the easy thing to do would have been to put the folded up sheet of paper back into the jacket pocket since it wasn't his and he didn't really have a reason to read it, but he was curious and figured it was probably just some leftover fax from work that Erin had forgotten to send out. It wouldn't hurt to read it.

So Brian unfolded the sheet of paper and instead of seeing figures and numbers or a schedule of some sort like he expected Brian found himself reading a handwritten note from Erin's roommate. There was nothing scandalous written and it definitely seemed like a friendly gesture between friends but something about the way Samuel wrote 'Love, Sammy' with a silly little heart in place of the 'o' and the general tone of the note rubbed Brian the wrong way. It was all just so....intimate. An innocent kind of intimacy but still an intimacy that Brain often didn't feel when he was alone with Erin. The paper crumpled in Brian's fist and he shoved it back into the pocket where it fell from and tossed the jacket onto the bed before swiftly moving out of the room.

It took another few minutes for Erin to wake up and realise that she was alone in bed in a bedroom that did not belong to her. The initial panic within her subsided when she remembered that she was still in Brian's loft and her arms stretched far above her head as she sat up and glanced around the empty room. Everything looked so different bathed in sunlight but Erin didn't allow herself to linger for too long, she was out of bed and dressed in a matter of seconds and quickly went to search for her boyfriend. 

Erin smiled widely when she caught sight of him in the kitchen fumbling around with something she couldn't see. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and buried her face into the space between his shoulder blades, pressing her plush lips against his warm bare skin. 

"You let me wake up alone, rude" She giggled and hardly noticed the way he tensed up when her lips made contact with his body.

"Sorry," Brian muttered in response but didn't turn around.

Erin was slightly put off by his curt response and her eyes squinted downward for a moment but she pushed on regardless, concluding that Brian just may not have been a morning person.

"So um, I was thinking that since I have my  _final_ final in a few hours and I can't really stay for too long today maybe we could meet up this afternoon? You promised to take me back that speakeasy pub last month and we still haven't been back."

Brian shrugged and gave Erin a halfhearted 'maybe' in response but when he stopped washing dishes and moved from the sink to the refrigerator like she wasn't even holding him his actions left her confused and honestly a little hurt. She didn't understand why he was acting like his, especially after last night. 

"Are you okay Brian?" She asked gently, still hovering around the sink.

"I'm fine" he replied with his head hidden behind the door of the fridge.

Erin shuffled on the heels of her feet and bit down on her lip, he definitely didn't sound fine.

"Are you sure because you seem a little...upset? Is this about last night? Do you think we're moving too fast or something?" Erin paused and laced her fingers together "Do you regret sleeping with me?"

Her last question made Brian shut the door and look directly at her for the first time that morning, his expression soft and apologetic.

"What? No, of course I don't" he said in a whisper as he reached forward to pull her against his chest.

"Then why are you acting so weird?"

Brian pressed his lips together and rested his cheek against Erin's temple. 

"It's silly..."

"I still wanna hear it"

"...fine. I found something this morning that made me a little upset that's all"

"Upset? With me?" Erin asked and pulled her head back to look up at her boyfriend.

"Yeah. I came across the little note that your roommate left you when I was picking up your clothes and I didn't like it."

"Wait a minute, you were snooping through my pockets while I slept? Do distrust me that much?"

Erin completely detached herself from Brian's body and put an ample amount of space between them. She could understand if he was upset about something that actually warranted a reaction but there was nothing written there to explain this kind of reaction.

"I wasn't snooping, it fell out!"

"That doesn't matter who are you to be rifling through my personal effects? That note wasn't addressed to you so you had no business reading it, and what the hell could have made you so damn vexed? Is no one else allowed to hope I have a good day but you?"

Brian exhaled deeply and girded his hips, he was doing his best to keep a level head but with Erin's voice raising slightly the more she spoke it was becoming harder for him to remain docile. 

"It's not what was written on the paper but the _tone_ of it all that bothered me."

"Because you can judge tone just by reading something?"

"No, but I can judge it based on past experience, I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention Erin. You've said that there's nothing going on between you two I not so convinced of that. I mean we can barely get through one date without you mentioning his name at least five times, trust me I've counted."

Erin gasped, her fingers raking through the front of her hair as she turned away from him for a few moments before turning back to face him with her features shrouded in anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me? If this has been bothering you for so long why are you just now bringing it up, you've had so many opportunities to ask me about this?"

"I didn't think it would be a problem before now, and look I don't want to keep bringing this up but can you honestly tell me that he doesn't feel anything for you? I'm not saying he's got to be in love with you but you can't live with someone and not-"

"Of course, we love each other!" Erin bellowed before Brian had a chance to finish his sentence, her gaze wild with anger as she stepped toward Brian who looked startled. 

"We've known each other for over half the duration of our lives, we have shared every major moment in life since middle school. I know that Sammy loves me with every part of him that is capable of giving love but there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. He's not in love with me." Erin noticed the slight tremble in her voice when she spoke, the part of her that still wished Sammy felt some other way was still alive and ached when the reality of her words hit her.

"I-i'm sorry, I shouldn't have overreacted..." Brian stuttered and attempted to reach for her shoulder but Erin side stepped him and shook her head.

"I'm going to be late for my test."

* * *

 

It's well into the afternoon when Erin finally returns to her apartment and finds Sammy bundled up on his pullout bed watching something on Netflix that she didn't recognize. Silently she kicked off her shoes, dropped her bag and made a beeline straight for her roommate, forcing her way into his lap which made him sit up rigidly and peer down at her.

"Can you hold me?" were her only words and Samuel was quick to oblige her by wrapping his arms tightly around her body and holding Erin tight to his chest. He recognized the pained expression on her face and knew that she would probably need a minute before she felt like telling him what was wrong. So they both sat in a comfortable silence, the background noise from the television filling the void until Samuel finally looked down at Erin and ticked up one of his eyebrows.

"What's wrong, noona?"

Erin took a deep breath and relayed her entire day to Sam, the fight with Brian, her race to her university, the fact that she nearly missed her opportunity to take her final  exam and the fact that she was so distracted from her argument with Brian she may have bombed her final. She was on the verge of tear by the time she was done speaking but Samuel calmed her in a way that only he could by pressing his soft lips against her temple and gently stroking the length of her hair, muttering gentle compliments against her skin the entire time.

"I am 100% sure you didn't fail that final, I've heard you reciting literary nonsense in your sleep for the past two weeks. Even if you were distracted there's no way you could have failed."

Erin pouted, she was glad for the reassurance but her gut was telling her otherwise.

"And about your fight with...your boyfriend," 

Erin clamped up the moment he mentioned the fight. In her haste to tell him what was bothering her she had completely forgotten to censor herself, she didn't mean to mention that he was the cause of their fight.

"You know he's wrong, right? I mean I love you, you know I do but...I-....you're family it'd be weird to think of you in any other way." Sammy managed to crack a playful smile even though he was dead inside, those words pained him to say more than he thought but he couldn't bring himself to say anything else. He didn't want to sway her heart, not like this when she was vulnerable and troubled. Erin sniffled and nodded quickly, pretending to be relieved when he said the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear.

"That's what I told him," She said softly and pulled back from and made and effort to get off his lap, "Sorry for bombarding you like this, I just needed a hug." Erin chuckled and stood to her feet.

"I'll always be here to give you one" Sam replied and then neither of them spoke for a few seconds, staring each other down and holding their gaze like they both wanted to say something but in the end no one spoke up and Erin found herself awkwardly waving and walking away.

She slumped to the ground the second she closed the door behind her and Erin buried head between her knees, she had been trying to hold in the tears since Samuel held her but hearing him admit what she already feared was the final straw to break the dam of her tears. What started as a gentle stream soon evolved into a silent sob as Erin pressed her head backwards against the door in a shallow attempt to stop herself from violently weeping like a teenager. She already had suspicions that Sammy didn't feel the same way so why did this hurt so much? A part of her wanted to go back out to the living room, grab her roommate by the collar of his thin white t-shirt and explain to him that she believed that they were soul mates and they belonged together she didn't care if he saw it or not. But what would that prove? It would shake the foundations of their friendship and Erin wasn't so sure their relationship could handle such a blow.

Instead of mustering up courage Erin dragged her body towards her bed and pushed herself underneath the mess of clothes and blankets, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.


	11. Chapter 11

Nearly a week passed since the blow-up and Brian and Erin still hadn't hadn't spoken face to face.  That wasn't due to a lack of trying, however, especially on Brian's part; he called incessantly, texted her whenever his phone was in his hands and even found the time to email a five-page apology explaining his actions. Everything short of showing up at her apartment which he would have done in a heartbeat if he wasn't so unsure about Erin wanting to see him since she barely picked up his calls or replied to his messages. Her excuse was that she was busy with things and not deliberately ignoring him since she was hardly as angry as she was last week but Brian could tell that she was only telling him a small part of the reason why she was making herself so scarce. 

He had reason to be skeptical but Erin truly had been busy these past few days, her classes may have been on hold for the winter but she still had a job to hold down and extra hours to pick up since she wanted to earn as much as she could during her last winter break from school. Most of her time, though, had been being put into avoiding Sammy who up until last month she would have dropped any and everything to spend time with. Erin assumed life would continue on as normal after their discussion about her fight with Brian and Sammy confirming that she was nothing but a sister to him and basically crushing any and all hopes she had of him taking her against one of the walls of their apartment to small, tiny pieces. Her assumptions couldn't have been any further from the truth, life between Sammy and Erin somehow managed to become awkward and tense in the wake of their non-confession.

Mornings that often consisted of them sharing the duties of making breakfast and light-hearted conversations became nearly silent and filled with boring small talk to fill the dead air until someone could think of an excuse to leave the apartment. In the afternoons when they shared the TV in the living room they took up opposite ends of the couch instead of snuggling closely together and the one time they both accidentally reached for the remote at the same time Sammy flinched back so hard Erin thought he would flip out of his seat. Everything was becoming so confusing to her and the entire situation reeked of deja-vu because Erin was certain they'd gone through and gotten over this exact phase of awkwardness in their teen years. The tension and awkward energy that Erin hated all those years ago settled between them again, and this time, it returned with a vengeance that threatened to only get worse f they continued to ignore the elephant in the room like they were currently doing.

Erin's dazed expression softened when the soft chirp of her cell phone made her pay attention to the world around her again instead of falling further into her own thoughts. She smiled brightly when she read that the message she'd received was from Kasey and not Brian, she really did want to talk to him but there was only so much poetic text messages and elaborately worded apologies she could handle before it started to get annoying. That and she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to say to him yet. Erin's fingers were working over her digital keyboard so diligently she hardly noticed when Sammy silently sauntered into the kitchen until he opened the fridge and her head snapped up.

"Oh! You startled me."

"Sorry, E" Samuel turned around to respond before immediately putting his head back into the refrigerator when Erin smiled and shook her head.

"That's alright....." She said timidly, "You must have been cold last night, the heater broke down at like one in the morning."  
Sammy grunted to show that he agreed as he began gathering eggs and other various ingredients.

"I expected to wake up with you next to me this morning," Erin commented with a stilted chuckle. 

She actually waited up for him to join her when she felt the shift in temperature but to her surprise the door never so much as cracked open.

"Oh...well I just used the electronic blanket. It kept me warm enough."

"Cool...cool." Erin nodded slowly, "We could have shared if you want, I know I give you shit about it sometimes but I really don't mind sharing the bed with you."

There was a noticeable pause in both Samuel's response and his movements before he turned around and faced the area where Erin was seated, he was looking down instead of directly at her but it was a start at least. 

"I...don't think we should be doing stuff like that anymore. I mean I know there's nothing behind it but you've got a boyfriend now and he's already getting the wrong idea about our relationship. It would probably be easier if we just didn't do that kind of stuff."

He didn't wait for Erin to agree or disagree with him before turning back to continue making breakfast for himself as if he hadn't just made a decision that involved both of them without even bothering to ask Erin's opinion. If he had he would have known that Erin had no intentions of changing the dynamics of their relationship just because it may have made her boyfriend uncomfortable. He would have known that her friendship with Sammy was currently more important to her than Brian's feelings, it sounded harsh but it was a fact that Erin had no probably admitting. He would have also known that Erin was never going to stop treating Samuel with the same amount of kindness and affection she'd been showing him since they became friends, and what exactly did he mean by 'stuff like that'? Bed-sharing? Casually snuggling up on the couch together? Touching in general? Showing each other any form of genuine affection? Because these were all things that seemed to stop abruptly from Sammy's end since last week and there was no way Sammy could have thought he was making anything "easier".

"Right...well. I should get going I'm filling in for another assistant today and they'll kill me if I'm late again."

Erin showered, got dressed and left for work without saying another word towards her roommate, apart from a barely audible 'See you' as she slipped out the front door and left him vegetating on the couch. Samuel's little proposition was still irritating her but she didn't have the luxury of allowing him to be her sole focus for the rest of the day since covering for a secretary who worked on a different floor involved completing tasks on a schedule that Erin wasn't used to and dealing with people she never had to speak to before. They weren't used to her and she wasn't used to them so it made an already stressful and annoying day even more stressful and annoying. Erin's one moment of reprieve came in the form of a fruit and cookie basket delivered to her office building from someone who only wanted to be identified as 'a fool who is still sorry'.

 She sighed and smiled to herself as she signed for the gift and tried to avoid curious stares of the office ahjummas while she brought it back to her temporary desk. Her lunch break was delayed a few minutes by a copier emergency but once Erin was finally free of her responsibilities she gathered up her gift basket and headed for break room to thank the 'fool' that sent it. 

There were a few seconds of static and shuffling before she could hear his voice clearly as if he'd dropped the phone while trying to answer it "Erin is that you?"

She nodded even though he couldn't see her and grinned at the noticeable inflection in his voice when he said her name. "Yeah, it's me."

"It's good to hear your voice. Did you get the gift basket?"

"I did, I'm eating right now so I wanted to call and say thanks. I also wanted to know if you'd be free tonight? Maybe we could meet after I get off from work?"

"My schedule will always free for you, Erin," Brian said and Erin could tell he was smiling despite not being ale to see him. "Should I come by your apartment?"

"No! Your place isn't that far from where I work so I'll just meet you there, is that okay?"

"Of course, it is. Are you eating now?"

"Mhm"

"Okay...uh." Brian stumbled through his sentence and cleared his throat to shake the nerves from his shoulders before he tried to speak up again. "I'm, um, I'm down the street from your building and...."

"And...?"

"...Can I see you?"

There was a slight rasp of desperation in his voice and Erin found herself unable to shut down his request outright. Even though her mind had been preoccupied with the whole Sammy situation Erin had to admit that other parts of her had missed seeing Brian in the week that she had been avoiding him.

"I would really like to see you Brian, but I only have a few minutes left for lunch and I'm really hungry."

Brian's short laugh was dulcet and surrounded Erin in a warm embrace as she sank back into the chair she was seated in and debated whether or not sneaking downstairs for a few moments would be worth the reprimand. 

"Okay, if I can't see you then can we talk for the rest of your break?"

Erin hummed a 'yes' with her mouth full grapes.

"How has your day been going so far?"

"Ugh, aggravating. I'm covering for someone works on a different floor and I guess my Korean is getting worse because everyone keeps trying to speak to me in English."

Brian chuckled again, "Your Korean is perfect, maybe they just want to practice English?"

"Well they should pay for a tutor, I don't work for free."

They both shared a laugh and for a short moment the uncertainty between them was forgotten, there was still so much that needed to be said from both of them but for the remainder of their conversation, until Erin was reminded for the second time that she wasn't being paid to sit around, things were comfortable and easy. No dead air that neither party knew how to fill or awkward pauses where Erin had to think about what to say next. It was simple and pleasant and exactly what Erin needed. 

Erin managed to hang up and get back to her desk before her temporary supervisor had the chance to sneak up on her again. Her little chat with Brian perked up her attitude and even though her coworkers were still being annoying and halfway mixing English into their requests for no reason, Erin was floating on cloud nine as the hours winded down. The minute the clock passed 6 O'clock she was up and out exiting the building before anyone had the chance to ask her to stay any later. Usually, she would have stopped off at home to change her outfit and see Sammy before heading anywhere else after work but Erin didn't know if she had the stamina to weather another dry conversation with him and she was inexplicably excited to see her boyfriend. Well, boyfriend may have been too heavy of a term for their current status but the ambiguity of their relationship didn't hamper Erin's excitement as she pulled up in the front of Brian's building. 

Her excitement was overcome with nervousness when she noticed him pacing back and forth a few feet away from his door. She chuckled and shook her head from side to side, honestly Erin didn't know why she hadn't expected him to be waiting for her on the street. His hair was disheveled and the orange locks that grazed over his forehead were beginning to fade into a deep auburn that seemed to compliment his skin in a much softer way than the sharp orange.  Erin thanked the driver and adjusted her skirt and blazer as she exited the taxi, as she looked down at her outfit she slightly wished she had gone home to change into something cuter but it was much too late for that. 

Brian's expression lit up when his head swiveled in Erin's direction, much like a lost puppy being reunited with it's family after a long absence. He remained silent, they both did, not saying anything as they both slowly moved toward each other until they were toe to toe and face to face with apprehensive smiles spread across both of their lips. 

"Hey you," Erin was the first to speak and twiddle her thumbs together.

"Hi," Brian answered and shoved his hands into his pockets, exhaling a breath he had been holding in since he first saw her step out of the cab.

Erin nodded a few times and pressed her lips together tightly, she had role-played exactly how she wanted this conversation to go on the ride over but being here in the moment made everything she had in mind to say seem totally wrong.

"So, uh. I know I've been kind of distant lately" Erin started off "And I really didn't mean to be, I've just been thinking about a lot of things lately and I needed some time to mull over things by myself."

Brian ducked his head and caught Erin's gaze, making her look up at him while she continued speaking.

"I was really upset by what you said at that moment- and I know that you're sorry about it, you don't have to say it anymore," She interjected when Brian opened his mouth undoubtedly to apologise again. "But once I had some time to think about it I realised that I may have overreacted a little bit. Sammy and I are very close and we have been for so long I guess I'm just so accustomed to our friendship that I don't understand how it could be perceived in the wrong way. So I'm sorry for not seeing things from your perspective, that wasn't fair of me."

Brian smiled, warmly and broadly as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and gingerly stroked Erin's arms, drawing her closer to his body slowly until she was completely pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around her lithe frame tightly.

"Thank you," He muttered into Erin's hair and giggled softly when a few curly locks tickled his nose as he inhaled her perfume. 

Her arms encircled his waist and Erin snuggled her face deeply into his upper body as he laughed, the vibrations that rumbled beneath his chest and trembled her cheek made her chuckle and look up.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Your hair, it tickles me," Brian answered and pushed a few curls away from her forehead then grazed his palm against her cheek and cradled her jaw in one of his hands. The laughter in his tone tapered off as his thumb lightly brushed over Erin's bottom lip and the heat beneath her skin flared up. "Erin?"

"Yeah?" She breathed.

"Can I kiss you?"

Erin nodded quickly and the grip on he had on her jaw tensed as Brian brought her face forward until their lips connected and Erin found herself physically restraining from moaning right there on the public sidewalk. Her fingertips pressed deeply into his hips as their heads tilted to opposite sides to allow them to deepen the kiss and when the tip of his tongue tentatively swiped over her bottom lip Erin definitely lost the battle of remaining silent so not to draw any more attention to them from anyone passing by. A soft and sultry moan purred at the back of Erin's throat when she felt his teeth playfully tug against her lip, Brian mirrored her enthusiasm and gently massaged his tongue against her own. When she felt his hands move downward from her jaw and completely bypass the rest of her body to place a firm grip on her hips Erin instantly pressed her hands against his chest to put the breaks on their make-out session and bring them both back to reality. Brian looked confused at first but it only took a few seconds for him to remember where they were which made him blush and bury his face into Erin's neck.

"Sorry," He chuckled but still playfully nibbled on Erin's skin before picking up his head to catch her eyes "I just missed you."

"I missed you too," Erin answered, and she honestly had missed him; especially kissing him. "But that reminds me I wanted to talk to you about something else." 

"O-okay, well let's go inside." 

"I don't think that's such a good idea," She chuckled and grabbed his hand, "Why don't we take a walk?"

Brian nodded, intertwined their fingers and began leading them in the opposite direction of his studio. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Us," Erin stated simply then pressed her head against his shoulder, "I think we should start taking things between us a little slower. I don't regret sleeping with you but during my reflection I kind of realised that we don't really know that much about each other and I would like to see where things go with you so we should put more effort into getting to know each other better instead of kissing. Even though you're really good at it."

Brian laughed and nodded when she was finished speaking "I understand that," he replied once he stopped chuckling, "I think that's a good idea but um, does that mean no more kissing?"

"No, we can still kiss. But no more sex, for now."

"Aw," Brian pouted and Erin swatted his shoulder. "I can agree to that. We can start now, I've been wondering what you plan on doing when you graduate."

"We haven't talked about that?" Erin asked and Brian shook his head "Oh, I want to be an English professor. I know it's kinda cliché being a foreigner and everything but I really enjoy teaching."

"Have you taught before?"

"Not by myself but my mom used to teach English for a few years when I was in high school and I would help her out with her classes sometimes, like a teacher's assistant. There's something so unfathomably satisfying about watching someone learn something, I love that feeling. It's actually kind of funny because I used to hate going to work with my mom, her kids were so...curious."

Brian grinned and glanced over at Erin, he enjoyed the way her eyes appeared to light up whenever she mentioned teaching, "Curious or nosy?"

"Both? They were more curious than nosy in the beginning. I remember the very first day I came to help grade papers a little girl who probably couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 asked me why I was so dark if my mom was white and I honestly did not know what to tell her. You've never seen my mom but she has really fair skin for a black person and she keeps her hair straight so all of her kids thought that she was white and that I was adopted or lying about being her daughter." Erin laughed "And annoying as that was I think that made me realise that I wanted to teach for the rest of my life. Some of the kids that my mom taught had never seen someone that looked like me before or read any of the books that we went over, but for the short time that they were with me their horizons were broadened and they realized that there's a big world out there that extends beyond their town or city. I don't know, I just like the thought of that.

"That's so compassionate, you're going to make a great teacher. You're graduating in few months right?"

Erin nodded.

"Do you know where you're going to be working?"

"No" She sighed dramatically and hunched her shoulders downward "Well that's not true, there's an international school in Busan that offered me a position but I want to stay in the city, I've gotten accustomed to being so close to Seoul I don't want to give it up. I have been looking, though, so hopefully someone in the city will be willing to take a chance on me. I feel like I've been talking about myself for hours tell me something about you; why did you become an artist?"

"Oh my story isn't really interesting" Brian deflected with small grin "My grandmother was a painter and she took care of me a lot since my parents worked a lot, some of my best memories are of me sitting on her lap watching her put strokes on a canvas that eventually turned into beautiful works of art. I've always been a creative person but if it wasn't for my grandmother and her encouragement I probably would have just ended up working for my father's company."

"That's sweet, she must be so proud of you now."

"She was....she was my biggest fan until she died a few years ago." 

Erin frowned and rested her free hand against his arm, "I am so sorry."

"It's okay, I've come to terms with it now. She's been the inspiration for a lot of my pieces so I feel like that's her way of watching over me."

Erin nodded and squeezed his hand between her palm for reassurance. They continued their leisurely stroll with light conversation since the mood had become decidedly more solemn after Brian spoke about his grandmother. Erin informed him about what she'd been up to in the week she was avoiding him, which hadn't been much more than working and stressing about her exam results. Brian apparently had a gallery showing coming up at the end of the year that was taking up quite a lot of his time and he inadvertently mentioned that he had skipped a meeting with the art director tonight so that he could be with Erin. Which, of course, made Erin stop in her tracks and convince him to leave and reschedule his meeting while he still had the chance to.

"Brian, I'm serious you should go. I can get home by myself."

"But I-"

Erin grabbed his cheeks and pulled his face close to her own "Don't worry about me, or us I'm not mad at you anymore but I will be if you lose this opportunity just to hold hands with me," She pecked him on the lips then backed away. "Go."

Brian obviously had more he wanted to say but it was clear that Erin wasn't backing down since she was already calling a taxi, so he exhaled and admitted defeat. "Call you tomorrow?" He asked with a quick kiss on her cheek.

"I'll try to pick up" She joked and waved goodbye once he was darting back in the direction of his studio with his cell-phone already pressed to his ear.

There was an unusual amount of traffic in Brian's part of town so it took nearly an hour for Erin to get home but was she was her shoes came flying off and her jacket and blazer were both peeled off her shoulders and pooled on the floor near the front entrance. She could hYeahear the sounds of the television before she even saw Sammy sitting on the couch being mesmerized by the box, he was still dressed in the sweats and t-shirt she'd left him in this morning which seemed unusual.

"You didn't go to work today? I thought you were on the schedule," Erin asked as she flopped down on the couch.

"I wasn't," He responded, offering Erin a small lazy smile as she sank down into the cushions a few seats away from him.

Then it was silent again, background noise from the TV made it only slightly less awkward but Erin still felt like peeling her own skin off just to give them something to talk about.

"I think I'm going to bed" She yawned after a few more seconds of unbearable stillness "Have a good night Sam."

Samuel grunted as she got up, still staring at the TV. His hand reached to the side to grab her wrist once she standing, his hold on her wrist was delicate and somewhat modest as if the was the first time he'd ever touched her and that made Erin raise an eyebrow in question.

"Don't forget we have rehearsal for the showcase tomorrow, don't sleep in."

"Yeah, I remembered" Erin agreed and Sammy released her wrist.

"Good night Erin."

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Sweaty skin and the sound of overlapping gasps for air made the atmosphere humid in the small, cramped studio that Erin and Sammy currently occupied. Heavy droplets of sweat rolled down Sam’s neck and glided over his chest, making the thin fabric of his tank top cling to his taut skin as he cinched his arms around Erin’s waist in a hold so tight Erin wondered if she would be able to breathe. She answered his action by looping one of her arms around, the other securely gripping his shoulder as her right leg slowly inched upwards against his thigh. For just a moment the music playing softly in the background paused leaving the studio devoid of any sound other than Erin and Samuel's breath mingling until Erin made the foolhardy mistake of making eye contact with Sammy, which caused him to choke on his own spit and stumble backward - bringing Erin down to the ground with him.

"Sammy what the hell!" She exclaimed, clamoring to get up. 

“Sorry,” Sammy muttered from beneath her “I-I lost my footing.”

Erin knew he was lying but didn't point it out, she scoffed as he once again tried to avoid looking at her directly, this time whipping his head in the opposite direction when she rolled her eyes at him. “Whatever,”  Erin grumbled, “Can we just get this done so I can go?”  
   
Erin was well passed the point of trying to make Sammy behave normally with her, he had become more and more reclusive, secretive and just plain weird over the past few days. All her attempts at communication were ignored and honestly Erin was just too annoyed to try anymore. It hurt her, naturally, Sammy was and still remained a very large part of her life and even the idea of him refusing to have a real conversation with her made her throat tight. But she couldn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to do and Erin was slowly beginning to accept that. Perhaps their friendship had just run it’s course.

“Y-yeah, I’ll start the song again” Sammy replied while pushing himself to his feet. He brushed past Erin slowly enough for her to notice the small bruise starting to form on his bicep. Without really thinking, Erin reached out to stop him and gently ran her fingertips over the small area of his skin that was beginning to turn colour. It was a simple action, only meant to show concern for the pain he was probably experiencing, but the way Samuel reacted to her touch one would have thought that Erin had stabbed him in the back. He flinched tremendously and took a giant step backward to create an ample amount of space between them. This was the last straw.

“Ok, that’s it. What the fuck is going on with you?” Erin yelled and moved forward, completely ignoring his attempt to back away from her.

“What are you talking about-? Nothing’s wrong.” Samuel squeaked in response, eyes shifting to the side.

“Don’t lie to me Sam, you’ve been sulking around the apartment and jumping out of your skin every time I so much as look at you. If nothing's going on with you then why are you acting so weird?”

Sammy parted his lips to deny her suspicions again but Erin narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips tightly together, making him rethink the lie he was about to tell her and forcibly sigh instead.

“I don’t know if I should tell you...” he finally muttered, making Erin raise and eyebrow.

“Tell me what?”

He looked away from her again, this time in order to wrap his knuckles around the circumference of a nearby barre. Erin was growing less annoyed and more concerned the longer they stood in science, she could tell that whatever he had neglected telling her was still weighing heavy on his conscience.

“I-I…..I dropped out of college a few weeks ago” Sammy answered after taking a few deep breaths. Erin’s expressions shifted almost instantly, her eyebrows that had been knitted together in anger were now raised as highly as they could go and her jaw was completely slack.

“You….did...what?” She queried in a horrified whisper.

Erin always believed that Sammy and his siblings were lucky to grow up with such easy-going parents compared to her other Korean friends. She had heard much too many horror stories from her former classmates about their parents setting unrealistically high goals for them when it came to their education and plans for the future. Sammy’s parents didn’t seem to have quite the same viewpoint. Of course, they cared about their boys having a quality education but the strive for knowledge and thirst to be number one would never come before their mental health and happiness.

As easygoing as they were, however, it was always an unspoken expectation that their children would attain a degree. It didn’t matter what they majored in but there was just no way you could be a member of the Park household and not go to college. Or even worse, get into to a university and drop out halfway through. Erin suddenly understood why her roommate had been such a tool to live with lately, he was going through a life-changing crisis and she didn’t even know.

“Have you lost your mind?! Why would you drop out of college?”

“I never want to be an engineer E!” He shot back “I knew on my first day that it wasn’t for me but I pushed through because I thought it would get better, but that feeling only got worse and worse until one day I just snapped. I felt like I was on the brink of having a meltdown so just packed all my shit up and ran out of class.” 

He was mumbled through his entire explanation, bottom lip quivering and the moisture in his eyes daring to betray him and fall any second if he kept speaking; which made Erin tear up immediately. In her heart, she felt that this was quite possibly the stupidest decision he’d ever made but it wouldn’t be right for her to tell him that. Not now, anyway.

“Sam,” Erin said softly, reaching upwards to place her palm against his cheek so that he was looking at her “Sammy why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you work through this.”

Sam sighed sharply and shook his head “That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything to you.  You’ve known exactly what you wanted to do with your life since, what? Middle School? You had your reasons to push through the rough patches but what do I have? I don’t care enough about being an engineer to put myself through that Erin, I just won’t do it.”

A huff of air passed through Erin’s parted lips as she stared upwards into her best friends eyes. They were wet and still a little red from the possibility of him crying but they never wavered. He was serious about this and Erin was sure that no amount of lecturing on her behalf would make him change his mind. So she didn’t say anything else, she lowered her hands so that they met each other and locked behind his back and smothered her face into his chest. He was still hesitant to be so close to her, it seemed, but after a few moments he returned the gesture and pulled Erin flush against him like he always did when they hugged. Adding a tender kiss on the top of Erin’s head for flourish.

“Thank you for not calling me an idiot,” Sammy said sheepishly.  
   
“That doesn’t mean I’m not thinking it” Erin muttered in a low tone “But if you really feel like you have to do this then I have to support you. Have you told your parents yet?”

“Uh. No, not yet. I planned on surprising them a visit during Christmas and hoping that I work up the nerve to tell them by New Years.” Sammy bit his lip, “You should come with me.”

Erin frowned “I can’t….I’ve been planning this huge party at our apartment for the holidays. And Brian’s has been hinting that he may be taking me somewhere for Christmas.” She dropped the last part of her sentence in quickly, weirdly hoping that Sammy wouldn’t notice.

He did, obviously, and frowned just like Erin thought he would.

“But we should do something before you go!” She added with excitement “Maybe I can move the party up, instead of a holiday party it can be….’liberation’ themed. Since I’m graduating and you’ve kicked off the shackles of higher education.”

Sammy chuckled but shook his head, “You don’t have to do that, I don’t want to ruin your party plans.” 

“Oh please, what plans?” Erin scoffed “All you need for a fun party is good liquor and fun people, I already have both of those things.”

Sammy pretended to think it over, tossing his head from side to side in thought before ultimately flashing Erin that infamous megawatt smile she’d been missing more than she realized. “The liquor better be really good.”

“All you do is drink until you pass out anyway would you even be able to tell the difference?” Erin teased. 

They were still wrapped in each other's arms gazing at one another after their shared laughter died down and Sammy smoothed his hand against Erin’s hair with a serious smile.

“You’re my best friend, do you know that?” He asked a question they both knew the answer to.

“Of course I do, you’re mine too Sammy” Erin retorted with a quirked eyebrow.

“Am I? I feel like I’ve been pushing myself out of that spot lately.”

“You have been weird but… I mean, who could ever replace you?”

“Your boyfriend for one,” He replied quickly, without any trace of sarcasm.

Erin inadvertently rolled her eyes as a tight-lipped smile overtook her lips, “Boyfriends have always come and gone, but...you and I are forever Sammy. I don’t ever want you to think otherwise.”

The look in Samuel’s softened then, almost like he had something to get off his chest in response to Erin’s reassurance. His train of thought was derailed, however, when a series of short knocks echoed throughout the studio space; making them both snap their heads toward the door where Kasey was waiting with a smug smile plastered on her face. 

“Is that Kasey-?” Sammy stuttered before Erin screeched so loud that it made him jump out of his skin.

“I completely forgot you were picking me up today!”

“Obviously, ” Kasey snickered under her breath “Come on if your coming, I don’t have all day!”

“Ugh, I gotta go, Sam, we can talk more when I get home right?” Erin said as she pulled away from his arms and jogged to the out the open door. Samuel nodded and waved as Erin gathered all her belongings and disappeared behind the closed studio door.

*******

  
“So are you going to tell me what the hell that was about?” 

Kasey and Erin were currently in the middle of a reasonable sized underground clothing store spending much more money than either of them originally planned to. Erin was at least five feet away from where her friend was standing, so Kasey’s question confused her at first.

“What?”  
 

“You, Sam. Basically, eye fucking the shit out of each other in that hot ass studio? I thought you said he was a ‘you’ diet.” Kasey clarified.

“Oh, well that was nothing,” Erin said with a flick of her wrist to dismiss Kasey’s assumptions “He was just explaining why he’s been acting so weird lately. He’s been....stressed.”

“So naturally you two start coiling around each other like a pair of horny snakes, I guess this means you two are back to normal?”

“Honestly I don’t even know what normal is for us anymore...”

Kasey pursed her lips and stretched her arms across the clothing rack she was currently browsing, giving Erin a rare look of actual concern. “Y’know I’ve been meaning to ask you something, Erin.”

“I’m not buying you any more clothes today, use your own money” Erin answered without looking at her.

“I’m being serious, look at me for a second” Kasey beckoned “When are you going to move out? You graduate in couple months and I know you’ve been making enough to live on your own for a while, don’t you think it’s time.”

Erin shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and clutched the blouse in her hands a little tighter. Moving into her own place was a decision she had been wrestling with for a while. In theory, it would be nice to have her own place again, Sammy wasn’t the cleanest person to live with and it the thought of being able to have certain guests over without worrying about offending her roommatewas tempting. But even with all those positives Erin honestly couldn’t bare to think about having to live without Sammy, their lives were so intertwined now that just the thought of living somewhere without him was crippling.

“I’ve thought about it...”

“Which means you haven’t made any plans to move out, have you?”

“I can’t just leave Sammy high and dry, Kasey” Erin grumbled, “I know you don’t like him but have a heart.”

Kasey rolled her eyes and groaned loudly “Girl, who the hell said I don’t like him? I’ve been trying to push you two together since I met you, I just want you to start thinking about the future. How long do you think you can play house with your high school bestie?”

“I don’t know.”

*******

  
Erin had been a nervous wreck for most of the day, as time crept forward she wondered whether throwing a house party in her apartment that she felt cramped in sometimes was the best idea. Once she got over the initial stress of actually planning a large gathering on such short notice, then preparing her house for said party Erin could honestly say she was looking forward to it.

So as she glided around the small crowd in her living room chatting with people she hardly knew that well and making sure no one was making a mess of her place Erin would not be lying if she said she was having a good time. A damn good time actually. She had managed to maneuver her and Sammy’s old futon and random furniture in ways that left a bit more space for a makeshift dance floor in front of the fireplace but also made it easy to pop in and out of the kitchen when she needed to. Which she had needed to do many times tonight considering that’s where everyone decided to drop off their random bottles of alcohol. There were enough bottles lining the counters to send all of her guests to an early grave but they didn’t seem to mind.

Least of all Sammy, who was spending more time in the kitchen than anywhere else that night.

“Yah, Sam! Are you just going to stay here all night, this party is for you” Erin yelled over the music “Mostly.”

Sam chuckled and took another sip of the liquid in his hands, his gaze dragging slowly from Erin’s feet to the top of her head. She wasn’t dressed in any particular appealing way, a knit dress that was too thin to wear outside during the winter and a pair of simple black flats. It was nothing, really, but Sammy couldn’t help but find her absolutely stunning no matter what.

“I’m easing my way into party mode, it’s still early” He offered in response.  
 

“Is that so? Because to me, it looks like you’re hiding.”

“I’m just….I’m still a little freaked out I guess, I don’t have a job. I know my dad is going to fucking kill me when I tell him-”

Erin held up her hands wrapped her palm around Sam’s mouth to stop his verbal vomit.

“None of that tonight,” She pouted “You can start worrying again tomorrow but I want you to have fun tonight, so drink this-” Erin handed him the mixed drink in her hand, “And then come and dance with me, your song is on!”

The song playing was ‘Twerkaholic’ and Erin knew it was one of many that made Sammy dance uncontrollable. Sammy snickered and muttered a soft ‘Fine’ into the cup before swallowing it’s contents and letting himself be dragged out of the kitchen. A few of their mutual friends cheered when he stepped onto the dance floor, knowing that he was known for putting on a show whenever his jam came on. But he surprised them all when instead of heading straight for the center of the floor he stepped off to the side and took Erin along with him, hold her back to his front as he swayed along to the beat until the pair fell into a rhythm. Their hips swaying, dipping and rolling in unison to the heavy bass line of the song.

Erin felt self-aware at first but soon she found herself becoming lost in their movement, she felt his hands securing their place on his hips, gripping her, almost possessively she was lost in Sammy's silent but deliberate seduction behind her. Not to be outdone, Erin wound her hips and bent her knees in time with the song, slowly but surely burying Sammy’s crotch tighter and tighter into her backside. She rested her back against his chest and curved her arm around to hook behind his neck. On instinct he bent down and nuzzled her neck and even with the loud music, he could felt the vibration of a moan buzz beneath her skin. He wanted to lick her, bite her, kiss her, anything to sate the desire he felt coursing through him. But that wouldn’t be right she had a boyfriend and he was sure any tentative bridge he had built to crossover from just being the best friend was burned when he convincingly proclaimed that she was nothing more than a sister to him.

Erin didn't seem interested in remembering her boyfriend or the friendship they’d spent years cultivating.She pushed his face further into her neck until he finally opened his mouth and sucked her skin. She hissed and encouraged him to continue when she threaded her fingers into his hair and lightly scratched his scalp. He held her lips tighter and thrust against her from behind and she moaned again. He continued to suck her skin, then kissed his way down to where her shoulder and neck met. He bit that spot and Erin gasped and actually stopped moving for a moment. "Don't stop," he whispered in her ear causing her to shiver and then resume her movements. Sammy’s hands left her hips and slid down her sides where they were met with the bare skin of her thighs. He gripped the flesh there before inching his hands up little by little, until one of them disappeared underneath her the hem of her dress. He skimmed her inner thigh and felt a tiny scrap of fabric that he assumed was a thong. The mental image of that made him groan. Erin stopped dancing again and she looked at him over her shoulder. They locked eyes and Sammy waited for her to tell him to stop.

She didn't.

And he just wasn't strong enough to stop himself. So instead of taking her against the wall of their apartment like every cell in his body was telling him to; Sammy grabbed Erin’s hand and swiftly guided her away from the crowd and into their sometimes shared bedroom where he immediately pinned Erin against the door.  
 

“I can’t do this anymore.” He groaned in a hoarse whisper, then turned around, distraught as ever and Erin felt an immediate wave of regret wash over her.  
 

“Do what?”  
 

“This. Us.” He pointed a finger between the two of them. “Sit here and pretend that it doesn’t kill me to know that someone else is touching you the way I want to. I can’t stop thinking about you, Erin.”  
Erin wasn’t sure if she was hearing him correctly over the driving bass that made their bedroom door vibrate each time the beat dropped. She’d had dreams that started out this same way and honestly thought she was dreaming at that moment, then his hands were on her hips and the world around her stopped spinning. Her heart skipped a beat before it began to throb, ache, with the desire to have Sammy’s body pressed against her just like it was at that moment. Sam’s kiss was sudden and careless, slightly alarming, but so long-awaited that Erin felt lightheaded the moment their lips touched. Her arms lifted subtly from her sides, reached for Sam, grasping for any part of him she could find in the dark and pulled him even closer to her small frame while her lips moved over his in an unbridled fashion.

  
One of her treacherous hands moved to push his flimsy shirt upward when his hand curled beneath her thigh, but Erin caught herself before it reached it’s destination. She snapped her head back and look at Sammy, her eyes wide.   
 

"We shouldn’t be doing this...We’re drunk and not thinking straight” Erin slurred as she tried to catch her breath and settle her her heart which was beating wildly within her rib cage. 

  
“I’m not drunk,” Sam replied in a gentle whisper, cradling her chin in his hands “Are you drunk?”

  
“...No.” Erin admitted after a moment's pause. She wanted to blame her momentary lapse in judgment on being too impaired to know better but Erin was only buzzed at the most. She had nothing to blame her poor decisions on but her own weak will and the years of pent up tension that allowed her to effectively cheat on the man she was currently dating, without even a second thought.   
 

“Don’t you think we should talk about this Sam?” She queried, the tips of her fingers dancing along Samuels’ pulse.  
 

“I don’t wanna talk right now E,” Was his answer and then his lips were in their rightful place again. The more Erin thought about it the more she wanted to say ‘to hell with talking’, they could figure out what this meant for their friendship tomorrow.   
 

Or never.   
 

Which is why, instead of unlocking the door and going back to the party like she knew she should, Erin found herself gripping the cloth of Sam’s shirt again and bringing him down to her lips yet again. She kissed him slowly, this time, taking her time to explore just how kissing Samuel after all these years made her feel.  
 

It was exhilarating, as their lips connected and soon the kiss deepened, Sam’s hips pressing into her core and Erin found a more primal side of herself awaken from slumber. That feeling absolutely terrified her. She popped her lips off Sammy’s for the second time that night and backed away from him “Shit, Sammy I’m sorry. I jus-I can’t do this right now” she gasped loudly and moved to fumble with the door until she got it to unlock. Using all her strength she pulled the door open, pushed Sam against the back of it and headed straight into the center of the crowd.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Samuel avoided Erin for the rest of the night. He exited the room only minutes after she did and made a conscious effort never to be in the same area as her. When she went right he made a hard left, if Erin headed toward the kitchen Sammy made sure he found a way to force his into the middle of the crowd. Samuel even went so far as to escort each person that left their apartment that night to their car. No matter how far away they parked or even if they didn't have a car at all. If they took a bus he offered to walk them to the nearest stop, took the subway? It didn’t matter that the nearest subway was a ten minute walk away Sam made sure that every one of their guests made it home safely until there was no one left but him and Erin.

Erin had been...dazed, to say the least, for the remainder of the night. Whenever someone addressed her she took minutes to respond and even after she did answer it was only a short, clipped response. She could still feel Sammy’s hands all over her body and the tingling feeling that zapped on the first contact of their lips still remained on her skin. Chills ran down her spine and stopped at every erogenous zone she had every time she looked at him. From a safe distance, of course. It was sufficed to say Erin had immediately regretted pulling away when she did. She wanted to be with Sam just as much as he apparently wanted to be with her but there were way too many reasons for them not to take that step. At least, for Erin there were.

As the crowd thinned out and the last guest gleefully made their exit - despite Sammy practically pleading with them to stay longer- the young pair found themselves inadvertently standing at opposite ends of the apartment. Staring one another down, silently willing the other to speak first. Sammy took a breath and made the first move by walking forward to shut off the music still playing in the background, then pulling out the bed portion of their futon.

“I’m going to bed.” He said gruffly without looking up.

“Sammy we have to talk about this,” Erin stated.

“Talk about what E?” He challenged and looked up to glare in her direction “Obviously we want different things and that’s- Whatever. I’ll get over it.”

Sounding defeated, Sam slouched down into the uncomfortable futon mattress and faced away from Erin, hoping she would just leave him alone and allow him to wallow in embarrassment in peace. As expected, she didn't and the sound of the bed creaking when Erin took a seat next to him and pulled on his shoulder made Samuel shut his eyelids tightly. She was hovering above him when he finally opened them and dared to look at her again. He wanted to be annoyed with her but the look of absolute desperation on her face broke him.

“Please,” Erin said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Fine,” he said, turning to face her fully, his voice sharp. “If you wanna talk about this, fine. But you can’t...be like this all over me. I need some space” He inhaled.

“Okay.” Erin stated and she backed away just a few inches to allow Samuel to sit up then gesture for her to start talking.

“I just… I don’t understand what’s changed?” Erin sighed, holding her head in her hands. ” Just a few months ago we were fine just being friends…best friends. What happened between then and now that changed ?” she asked and turned her head to look at him. “Is it Brian?”

Sammy rolled his eyes and ran his hands through the front of his hair “Don’t give him so much credit” He replied acidly “I won’t deny that dating him has made the reality of losing you a lot more real but are you seriously pretending that this is a complete surprise, Erin? C’mon you’re not this stupid. ”

Erin wasn’t, but perhaps she had been hoping that Sammy was stupid enough to not have noticed the subtle changes in their relationships over the past few years. “Alright, maybe it’s not so surprising. Why didn’t you say something before all this? If you were feeling this way why wait until now to do something about it?”

“Would you have taken me seriously?” Sammy asked, skepticism heavy in his voice. “We’ve been doing this dance for years Erin and I admit I may not have been aware of these feelings the entire time but I once I became aware I’ve only wanted to be with you. Obviously you don’t feel the same way and that’s fine. You can keep seeing your boyfriend and I’ll just put these feelings to the side, don’t worry about me.”

Erin frowned deeply when he mentioned her boyfriend she couldn’t prove anything else he was saying to be false but there was no need to  throw Brian’s name in the mix just for the hell of it. "Don’t bring Brian up, Sam. This is about us don’t drag him into a conversation that has nothing to do with him.”

The dark haired male scoffed and looked at Erin sideways, asking her if she was serious without uttering a single word. “You think this doesn’t have anything to do with him? You’ve been single as hell for who know’s how long and two seconds after I try to kiss you suddenly you decide you need to be in a serious relationship with some guy you just met? What the hell do you even like about him?”

“I like his company, he makes me laugh” Erin answered, knowing that her explanation was falling on deaf ears, but she felt the need to answer anyway. “I can’t say that what happened, or didn’t happen, between us that night didn’t push me in Brian’s direction.” She clammed up for few minutes to collect her thoughts and looked at Sam with a frown. “I don’t know what you want me to say...he started out as a distraction, I guess, but now I’m just not sure how to feel.”

Sam groaned in frustration, unable to understand why Erin couldn’t seem to wrap her head around this. It was so obvious to him that they were well past the point of just being friends, he couldn’t go back to playing the platonic best friend after this. "I don’t wanna push you, Erin but I care about you more than anyone else I know. I don’t like going to bed at night without talking to you, you’re the first face I want to see when I wake up and it terrifies me that you might not feel the same way. I think that is why I couldn’t talk to you. Just thinking that admitting these feeling would push you away from me was more than I could take.”

“Sammy,” Erin said softly as he spoke. None of what he was saying was new information. Erin knew she was probably the most important thing in his life, just as he was for her. She had wrestled with the same thoughts that he was finally revealing and Erin bit down somewhat harshly on her bottom lip as she thought about how all this could have been avoided if she just had the courage to speak up. “I wish I had the perfect answer for you Sammy” she said, her hands finding themselves resting softly against his cheek to wipe away a tear that rolled over the brim of his eyes. She didn’t want to focus on it but even though she could have strangled him just a few moments ago all she wanted to do was hold him right now, hold and kiss and caress him until she made all the pain he was feeling go away, her fingertips tingled gently the longer they stayed in contact with his skin “ I love you Sammy, I’m just….confused” she said, her voice sounding strained.

Sammy felt her hand on his face as the tears trailed down his cheeks, his heart aching for her. He closed his eyes while she was speaking, but when she told him she loved him, his hand reached up and held her hand to his face. He turned his head slightly, letting his lips press to the inside of her wrist and Erin sighed. His lips felt nice against her skin which made her happy but she knew that she currently had a boyfriend which made her feel conflicted. He held her hands against his skin for a few long moments, just inhaling the situation. But he couldn’t hold himself back, and he found himself standing up, pulling Erin up from her seat, and pulling her body tight to his, his grip on her body like a vice. “Please,” he murmured, pushing her messy mane away her face. His head dipped as he pressed his lips to hers, more hunger in them this time. His free hand cupped the back of her head, holding her there gently, his fingers tangling in her hair.

Erin captured his lips with hers and though extremely hesitate at first she soon found herself letting all her inhibitions go, her lips returning his actions with every inch of repressed emotion she had been feeling for the past few years. As much she had tried to ignore it and push her feelings to the back burner for the sake of her sanity, kissing Sam felt right and she no longer wanted to deny that. Her arms pulled tightly around his back as she pulled her head back momentarily to catch her breath, she looked up into Sam’s eyes and it was as if she was seeing clearly for the first time. The slight redness in his eyes made her heart twinge as she sent her lips crashing back to his, her head shifted to the side with precision as she snaked her tongue past his lips, gently caressing and massaging against his.

Erin sighed with satisfaction when Sam picked her up and laid her body back on the futon. His weight settled on her, pressing her deep into the cushions of the couch.  Her legs opened in an almost  instinctive invitation that he accepted without hesitation, settling into the space between her thighs and meeting her arching back with a thrust that pushed his straining erection against her damp heat.  Her resounding sigh was a husky vibration of approval.

They explored each other’s bodies with the comfortable familiarity of seasoned  lovers.  His mouth trailed from her lips and across her neck to the shoulder left bare by the neckline of her  dress, pushing  it lower and lower until the opening revealed a strapless scrap of lace as delicate and feminine as the woman who wore it.   A pebbled nipple  peeked out from the lace; Sam laved it with his tongue, then drew it into his mouth and sucked, and was rewarded when she whispered his name.  

Erin was just as busy, tugging his t-shirt free of his jeans and shoving her hands underneath, stroking his back and the lean muscles that padded his rib cage.  Her fingers grazed a spot she knew was ticklish and he  growled against her skin.

Sammy shifted his weight, leaning slightly to the side and freeing up one hand to roam her body at will while his lips returned to hers, swallowing the gasps she made when he  palmed one  firm breast and then the other, caressing and squeezing and coaxing both dark  brown  peaks into tight buds.  

The space he created gave Erin the same freedom.  Straining up into his kiss, her hands moved between them to the button of his jeans.  The thick ridge beneath his zipper distracted her; with the base of her palm, she stroked up and down, using the denim of his jeans  to create a  friction that had Sam groaning into her mouth.  The groan became a  sigh of relief when  she finally got his pants open and took the length of him into her hands.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck.  “Fuck Erin…”  

The tight, slim-fit style of his jeans enhanced the erotic torture.  The metal zipper grazed against sensitive skin while the elastic waistband of his underwear bunched around the  base of  his cock, adding to the pressure against his balls.  As she squeezed and stroked, the slight twinge of pain made the pleasure even sweeter.  

“Wait … stop.  We have to stop, Sam .  We … we have to stop.” Erin’s voice cut through the heavy groans and moans they both created.

As breathless and frustrated as he was, Sam  sat up  and leaned back on his heels, releasing Erin with obvious reluctance.

“Why?”

“I'm not ready for this... ”  Her disappointment was tangible. “I can't step through that door without properly closing the other one… “

The tiniest spark of hope between them disappeared when Erin stopped speaking.  She stared up at him, her hair ruffled and her lips swollen from his kisses, with one breast revealed by the disarray of her top, a damp circle from his mouth still showing around the nipple. His clothes were in no better condition; beneath the hem of his t-shirt, his dick jutted out hard and aroused from the opening of his pants.

They were mess and only stared at one another in awe, honestly wondering just how they managed to get _here_. "I get it, " Sam finally spoke up “I don't like it but I understand." he rolled off the top of Erin’s body and pushed his erection back down into his jeans, adjusting himself so that it wasn't that uncomfortable for him. 

"Like I said, I  won't  push you Erin...but you can't kiss me like that and say you're confused. Come find me when you figure yourself out.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

Kasey, clad in in a pair of shorts that were too large to belong to her and sports bra, was not in the mood for another one of Erin “urgent emergencies”. She had been friend with her long enough to know that these emergencies often proved to be little more than a personal gripe she needed advice on. But, looking at her her now, with her eyes puffy and red from crying and mascara staining the sides of her cheeks. Kasey didn’t have the heart be annoyed with her needy friend even if she was taking up her time with a problem that could have been solved ages ago.

“I hope this is good E, I cancelled a dick appointment for you.”

“Ah, sex. Is that why you missed my party?”

Kasey snickered and shook her head, “I had to work I told you that. The dick was just an after thought once I got off.”

Erin rolled her eyes and narrowly avoided the pillow Kasey sent flying for her head before moving to speak again. “I’m just saying, if you had been there you could have prevented me from making a very stupid decision.”

“Like this outfit? Because you look like Wednesday Addams” Kasey asked flippantly, getting up from her seat to grab both of them a drink from the kitchen.

“Fuck you, I’m being really serious Kasey. I... I cheated on Brian tonight.”

Kasey’s head shot up, forgetting about the can of soda in her hand as her gaze shot in Erin’s direction, a mixture of confusion and aggravation covering her expression.

“Cheated...like how? With who?" She asked with caution, inching closer until she was sitting again. “Because if you just kissed someone under the mistletoe I doubt that counts.”

“Cheated like cheated Kase.” Erin replied with emphasis “We were two seconds away from chucking off clothes. And do you really need to ask with who, that should be a given.”

“I...” Kasey paused for a few seconds then stood to her feet and occupied the space next to Erin “I am so proud of you, my big girl!” she said once her arms were wrapped around Erin’s shoulders”

Erin groaned and pushed her friend off her shoulders, somewhat forcefully but Kasey didn’t mind she was too happy to hear that Erin was actually moving forward with her life. “This isn’t a joke to me Kasey! I made a huge mistake tonight and I really need you to take me seriously for once instead of cracking your little jokes.”

“I am being serious, I’m tired of watching live your life in stasis because you’re too scared to make a decision that might change your life just a tiny bit.”

Erin kissed her teeth and folded her arms across her chest, Kasey wasn’t saying anything that wasn’t true but it wasn’t what she wanted to hear at that moment. Erin wanted to feel guilty about, well, not feeling guilty for what happened between her and Sammy. She wanted to feel as if she had made an irreversible mistake and was not deserving of the happiness she was currently feeling. She wanted to feel all of those things but instead of guilt and shame Erin only felt joy. Contentment. Validation. She was actually happy with the fact that was possibly breaking someone’s heart.

“I’m not scared…” Erin whispered.

“Don’t bullshit me, yes you are” Kasey shot back.

“Well so what if I am scared? This is something to be afraid of. I care about Sammy so much but this is a line we have never crossed. I’m terrified of what’s on the other side”

Kasey sighed, lazily wrapping an arm around Erin’s slim shoulders and pulling her against her chest. “Are you in love with him E?”

“Yes but that,-”

“Don’t give me an excuse with logical explanations and rational thought . Are you in love with him, yes or no?”

“Yes.” Erin answered and Kasey could practically feel her exhale with the admission.

“Then that's it. Nothing else to explain or rationalize, you love him and he loves you. Why are you making this harder than it needs to be?”

Erin nibbled softly on her bottom lip, desperately searching for an answer that she did not have. She did love Sammy and now that she knew how he felt there should have been nothing stopping her from leaving her friends apartment right then and going to tell him that. But her entire body remained unmoved, racked with overthinking and insecurities. There were still so many things she was unsure about but there was one thing she knew for certain, nothing was going to change between them overnight.

“I don’t want to think about this anymore” She sighed forcefully and gave her friend a sidelong glance “Right now, I just want a drink.”

“Okay,” Kasey exhaled and stood to her feet, moving toward her kitchen to grab a bottle of clear liquid “I’ll let you run away for tonight but you will have to face this head on eventually Erin. You need to start thinking about your future and what you actually want.”

* * *

Kasey’s words had not fallen on deaf ears. Though she spent the rest of that night drowning her sorrows in vodka and the last dregs her best friend’s tequila the root of Kasey’s advice never strayed far from Erin’s mind. What did she want? She didn’t expect things with Brian to last forever and she was nowhere ready to be married just yet but there was no denying the pull that Samuel had on her. It wasn’t fair to her relationship with Brian and it wouldn't be fair to anyone else she ended up dating to leave so many questions up in the air without even attempting to answer them.

The train to Busan was a three hour long ride and it gave Erin more than enough time to ponder over these thoughts. To become absorbed in them and try to work through an appropriate response to the question both Samuel and Kasey had laid at her feet.

_ What. Do. You. Want? _

And even with all those hours and all the evidence that she conjured up in her time on that over crowded train Erin still couldn’t find herself with a solid answer. IT frustrated her that a question so simple had completely incapacitated her thoughts.

“ **Miss**!”

The attendant standing near the exit grabbed her attention then directed her toward the automatic doors. “We’ve arrived at our destination, please kindly exit the train car.”

Erin hadn’t noticed that the car was completely empty apart from her and ther small overnight bag she’d packed in a hurry early that morning. Once she made it back home and noticed the absence of her roommate, Erin immediately remembered that he had plans to visit his parents for the winter and that she probably wouldn’t see him again for a few weeks. She could barely stomach the thought of letting another day go by without trying to set things straight. So she packed away the few necessities she had and boarded the next thing smoking for Busan.

The route to her Gamcheon-dong was tedious but familiar, giving her the unmistakable feeling of nostalgia as her taxi driver turned down the street that led to her and Sammy’s childhood homes. Located directly next to one another with the same paint job they’ve always had. Erin quietly gestured for the driver to pull over a few houses down and explained that she wanted to walk the rest of the way when he protested. Erin had insisted that he stop only because she wanted to get some fresh air, she did not expect to see Samuel leaning against the gate the lead to his home, cigarette smoke billowing from his lips and staring down at his cellphone. Completely unaware of the outside world.

Erin immediately cringed at the sight of the white cancer stick hanging so precariously out of his mouth. They’d tackled his smoking problem ages ago, or so she thought, and Samuel made a solemn vow that he would never pick up another pack. Resuming her footsteps Erin resisted every urge to smack the cigarette right out of his hand like she usually would have. Something about the way his brow furrowed as he stared down into his cellphone made her think he may not have been so amused by that action. “Sammy!” She called once she was close enough, possibly a little to eagerly as Samuel nearly jumped out of his skin in response to her voice.

“Erin? When did you...What are you doing here?” He replied and turned his head to the side to discreetly blow away smoke.

“I-I wanted to see you. I went home last night and you weren’t there so...”

“Yeah, I’m visiting my family.”

Erin scoffed a laugh and nodded “I know, That’s why I came.” A long pause of awkward silence passed through them before Erin spoke up again. “Listen can we talk? That was the main reason I came. We need to have a real discussion about...whatever this is between us.”

Samuel’s jaw ticked, as if he had something to add to Erin’s statement but thought better of it. He threw down the cigarette bud and extinguished it with the toe of his converse before jutting his head in the direction of his parents house. “Come inside.”

The Park household had hardly changed in the last decade. A few furniture additions in the den and a new coat of paint reapplied whenever the color began to fade, but all in all the house looked and felt almost identical to the once Erin remembered visiting and spending so much time in during her youth. She expected to be greeted with loud hellos and intrusive questions like usual but instead her only greeting was the unfamiliar sound of silence and the shuffling of Sammy’s slippers as he slowly trudged toward the kitchen.

“It’s so quiet… no one’s home?” Erin asked as she toed off her sneaker and borrowed a pair of Mrs, Park’s house slippers.

“Nope,” He answered curtly “They went skiing, won’t be back until tomorrow. I guess this is what I get for trying to surprise them.” Sam hummed and laughed in a way that didn't sound amused.

“So you’ve been here all by yourself? Aren’t you lonely?”

“Your parents let me sleepover last night, they saw me come in and knew my family wouldn’t be here.”

Erin cooed in response and nodded her head absent-mindedly, dropping her overnight bag off to the side before hoisting her body on the the counter a few feet away from where Samuel stood. When she settled Erin looked in his direction, he was staring back into her eyes and searching her face in a way that Erin couldn't readily decipher. She squirmed and ducked her head under his gaze, his eyes has lost the kindness they usually emitted and she no longer felt bathed in warmth and sunlight when their gaze connected. Instead she felt cold, small and scrutinized the longer he stared at her without saying a word.

“Look, I appreciate you coming all this way Erin. But we already had this discussion, remember? I told you to come to me when you figured yourself out, not while you’re still confused. I can’t do anything with that.”

“I know we talked, or started to anyway. But obviously that discussion was insufficient because I’m still struggling with this and-”

Samuel kissed his teeth loudly and raised a hand to interrupt Erin before she could finish speaking. “Let me stop you right there Erin, exactly _**what**_ are you struggling with? I haven’t given you an ultimatum, I’m not pressuring you. I am trying so hard to be patient and give you time to work through these supposed conflicting feelings yet here you are. Following me across the country and once again betraying your own words with actions. You know what you want and this “confusion” act is really unattractive, you’re better than this E.”

The vitriol in Samuel's voice was clear and obvious and though Erin tried not to take it to heart it still pained her to hear him speak to her so harshly. “Sammy this...this is a much bigger deal than you seem to realize,” she choked out in response once the sting from his outburst had subsided. “If we cross over this line and step through that door there are only two roads we can take; one leads to us getting married and the other leads to us breaking up and I don’t know about you but both of those options scare me to death. I would rather deal with you being upset with me for a little while than risk losing you forever.”

Erin looked over at Samuel once she finished her explination and the stern look he once cast her way was now replaced with a expression so soft and broken she wondered if he was on the verge of tears. His grip on the edge of his parents marbled counter top tightened then laxed as he pushed his body weight backward and stalked toward where Erin was seated. She watched him with careful eyes as his right hand ghosted over her cheek and tenderly caressed her jaw. “I’m not asking you to marry me, I’m not even saying this will be easy. I know you think I do things without thinking them through but I’ve thought about this a lot Erin. The only thing I want is for you to let go and allow yourself to be happy, at least give us a chance before deciding we’ll fail. Don’t I make you happy? You make me happy.”

She felt herself relax immediately beneath his touch and she glided her hand over his forearm and rested her hand over his as Sam gingerly  pressed his nose against her pulse causing sparks to dance and twirl all over her body. “I was so happy...” Erin whispered, her hand travelling across his shoulder and gently clutching his neck “When we kissed and you said what I’ve been waiting to hear you say since highschool- I can’t recall ever feeling so happy and it terrified me. Happiness is temporary, I don’t want this to be temporary.”

“Erin look at me” Samuel replied softly, picking his head up allowing Erin to look into his eyes as he framed the sides of her face between his nimble hands. “You’re not going to lose me. Even if this path doesn’t work out for us and it turns out to be a mistake, I’m still going to be here. You’re my _**heart**_ , Erin, the last thing I want to do is hurt you.This is much more than just me wanting to be with you physically, I want to share every part of me with you. I’m going to ask you one more time and then I promise I won’t bring it up again, what do you want?”

Sammy’s hands tentatively rested on her hips and the pads of his thumbs nervously drummed against the hem of her jeans before smoothing down the length of Erin’s thighs then back up again. Maybe it was the clear confession, not preceded by a sloppy kiss laced with alcohol and heady emotions. Or possibly the reassurance that he had put just as much thought into their future and the repercussions of their actions as she had; but Erin finally found herself with an immediate answer to what she once thought was an impossible question.

“You.” she sighed and leaned forward to press her forehead against his “I want you, I want this...I want _us_.”

His fingers kneaded deeply into her thighs and Sam ghosted his lips over Erin’s for a few seconds before leaning forward to close the space. The kiss started off slow and steady, lewd gasps fluttering into the silence of the space around them and enveloping their thoughts.Soon the fervor of their actions reached a crescendo and neither of them bothered attempting to breathe. One kiss melted into another while two pairs of hands took liberties and touched body parts that were annoyingly covered with clothing. Erin hadn’t realised just how long she’d been dying to be possessed by her best friend since she first realized that it was a possibility and she didn’t waste a second before sliding her tongue deep in his mouth. 

Alternating between sucking on her top and bottom lip, Erin mewled when Samuel grabbed hold of the back of her thighs and pulled her closer and guided her legs around his waist.

“I want you to make you feel good, Noona” he whispered against her mouth, his heated breath fanning over Erin’s skin and sending a surge of arousal straight to her center. “Can I make you feel good?”

“Mhmm” Erin panted in agreement then gasped when his hand burrowed its way beneath the waist of her jeans. Using one hand he unbuttoned the opening and pressed the pads of his fingers against her hooded clit, groaning at the way Erin’s arousal slicked against his fingers as he tested a small circular movement against her bundle of nerves. Erin shimmied her way out of her jeans and assisted Sam as best she could to push her panties down to her ankles. Her hips flexed with desire for him to go faster now that he had full access and Sammy smirked when she whined softly. “You’ve always been so impatient,” he sighed and continued taking his own time to explore Erin’s warm haven.

“You’re just teasing me,” She mewled in response and sank her fingernails into his forearm, her teeth sinking down into her bottom lip when his fingers finally intruded her entrance and his thumb took over resting heavily on her clit, applying pressure in all the right spots as two of his fingers moved and curled inside her making her pull sharply at Samuel’s hair and hiss with pleasure.

Erin couldn’t help smiling widely with pleasure and amazement at Sammy as he worked his fingers into overtime to bring her to completion. Her heart was swelling with affection she thought she'd long laid to rest. She wanted so badly to be his. She wanted to have the privilege of kissing him whenever she wanted and to fall asleep in his arms after spending the night tangled in each other’s bodies. All she wanted and would always want was him. “Oh…God…” Erin’s head fell backward, too overcome with the sensations of his fingers working the throbbing nub hidden between her legs and his mouth now teasing her stiff nipples over the fabric of her thin t-shirt. Her whimpers continued to escape her, filling the room with her encouraging moans of delight. “Ungh, yes…yes, right there…” Her body arched forward nearly pushing herself off the counter as Sammy held a firm hand on her waist to keep her still.

Their eyes met and Erin could clearly feel that the love she had for him was only growing with each passing second. She already knew him like the back of her hand, but this was different. They had never seen each other in this light before. His hands were all over her and inside her, searching for any place he could touch or squeeze and Erin felt like she was on the edge of combustion.  "I want you, Sammy…so bad.“ The words managed to leave her mouth before her hips took on a mind of their own squirming and rocking against her best friends fingers as a delicious feeling of pressure built up deep within her.

“I want you too,” Samuel rasped in response, grunting forcefully against her skin as he laid sloppy and uncoordinated kisses over every inch of Erin’s exposed skin. “I can’t wait to be inside this wet pussy, but you gotta cum for me first babe.” Her nails raked back and forth along his scalp and the nape of his neck, keeping a death grip on the edge of the counter with her other hand. Endless moans tumbled freely past her lips. "Then don’t stop…please don’t stop…” Erin begged, panting shallow breaths between each whimper and plead for him to continue his actions. His fingers exploring her slick folds, licking over every intimate inch of her wet flesh sent waves and waves of pleasure to every inch of her body. Hard shudders coursed through her body the longer he twisted and curved his fingers deep into her tight cunt.

The boldness in Samuel’s words, reminding her he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him, sent goosebumps rippling over her caramel toned skin. Her legs trembled and every inch of her body ached for release until Sam’s fingers firmly massaged against Erin’s walls in exactly the right spot. Her body bucked as her thighs started tensing up tight. “That’s it, be my good girl and cum for me.” His tender command and the timbre of his voice rumbling against her ear was too much for Erin to take. Her eyelids slammed shut as a deep tingle trembled along her slick walls. Sammy!" She cried out, arching her back forward and grappling the tufts of his hair between her fingers. Her orgasm took her by surprise and drenched Samuels fingers with her arousal and he hummed with pleasure knowing that every drop of it was for him.

His fingers withdrew from Erin after she’d successfully come down from her high and slumped her spent body on top of the counter as much as she could given the small space.  “Sammy..” She sighed happily. “Come here.” She smiled, slowly pulling him toward her until they were face to face once more. She kissed him softly, gently brushing her tongue against his. “That was perfect.” Her hands ran down his back, resting them at the hem of his joggers as she tugged playfully. “Now I want to make you feel good.” She pecked his slightly swollen lips, tugging the pants down his hips until his erection sprang free. She grasped her palm around his hard girth, stroking her hand up and down with a firm grip. Erin trailed playful nips and kisses along his throat as her hand kept its steady pace. “Feel good?” She whispered against his ear, giving her wrist a slight twist.

“Y-yeah” Sam gulped and rested his hands against her hips, almost pushing her backwards to pause the movements of her hand “But are you su.. _re_ you want to do this?” His pitch hitched slightly when Erin twisted her wrist once more in an attempt to amplify his pleasure.

“What are you talking about?”

Samuel pressed his thumbs against her hips with some pressure then hooked a finger beneath her chin so that she was looking into his eyes “I mean...we don’t have to do this. I know I was a little aggressive the other night but we don’t have to take this step if you're not ready. Knowing how you feel is enough for me.”

The gentility and honesty in his words made Erin’s heart swell two times over once again and she rested a hand against his cheek. “I know, but weren’t you listening before?” She asked as her hand resumed their lustful strokes “I need you, Sammy.”

“Shit,” Sammy sighed, wetting his lower lip with his tongue. Erin’s lips maneuvered their way down his neck, giving him a trail of sinfully arousing delightful bite marks along his throat. She wrapped her legs around his waist with the tip of his exposed erection grazing against her bare entrance and her lips began to suck his ear, forcing a low moan to escape him. Her talented fingers circled around his hardness once again and teased him with a perfect touch. Her warm hand embracing his sensitive flesh felt long overdue and Erin hardly wanted to release him. “Erin…b-baby…I want to make you cum again…please.” He groaned and sputtered, covering his hand over hers that was stroking him to stop her. While clenching her hand in his palm, he nudged the plump head of his cock against her swollen clit, looking—gazing amorously—into her brown eyes “I want to be inside you.”

Erin titled her head to the side and softly pressed her lips to the patch of skin just below his earlobe and with her plump lips pressed to the shell of his ear she rubbed the bulbous head of his cock against her wet slit. “Mmm…” She hummed a low moan behind closed lips. When his bulbous head was covered in her slick juices, Erin positioned his cock to press firm against her tight opening. “Just breath…” She heard Sammy say softly from above her, his smooth voice coaxing her to relax as he pushed forward and her slick heat completely enveloped his throbbing erection. “Oh…God…” Her lips parted to sigh against Samuel’s skin. He fit so snug inside her. Erin rested one of her hands back on Sam’s neck, running her other hand through his messy, jet black hair.

Her fingernails dug into the surface of his skin as Samuel slowly pumped his cock inside her. His warm breath tickling  her neck. She sighed feeling his face snuggled into her neck, exhaling deeply onto her skin with each thrust of his cock.

“You’re so tight..” Samuel moaned between thrusts, his head falling forward and resting against her shoulders “Are you really this tight for me?”

“Y..es” Erin replied with a noticeable hitch in her voice “Tight and wet just for you, baby” She replied with a lewd moan. Erin clenched the throbbing walls of her cunt around his hard shaft, making her pussy feel as tight as possible.

He picked up his head, sealing his lips on the front of her throat, sucking and nibbling at it with his canines. “You know…how long I’ve been thinking about this?” He grunted, his cock throbbing hard, burrowing deep inside of her. “Ever since that night I saw you in my t-shirt. I never…I never stopped wanting to taste you, make love to you. Fuck, Erin, your pussy is more magical than I imagined.” Samuel panted, feeling her pussy tremble and clench tighter around his thick shaft as he pumped between her sexy legs.

“Oh Shit, Sammy...” Erin sighed heavily. She moved one of her hands from his shoulder, sliding it over his arm until her fingers reached her hard nipples. She pinched her deep brown buds, whimpering from her own touch and Samuel’s cock pumping into her. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could take the torture of his thrusts, pumping in and out of her slick cuntand seductive allure of his words and spontaneous confession. She was tweaking her stiff buds between her fingers right as he rammed his cock inside her. “Fuck.” She gasped and his teeth nibbled softly at her skin, his words still making heat blossom up all around her skin.

Sammy’s pounding thrusts were quickly building Erin’s second release. His cock glided past her soaked lips with slippery ease, rubbing hard against her swollen clit and her nipples ached with a delicious soreness from her own pinching and tugging, making sure both buds were being teased into hardness. “Uhh…shit, Sammy..keep talking” Erin panted hard. She could feel his cock pulsing against the walls of her cunt. “You like hearing me talk?” He smirked, groaning softly against her neck. “I want to devour you, babygirl. Pin you down and spread your sexy legs wide while I feast on your glistening wet cunt. All day long. Just for you.” He gasped and grunted over the fast sucking noises of his cock pulling in and out of her that occupied the spacious kitchen. 

His deep rough pants filled her ears as he pumped into Erin with unrelenting vigor and she slid a hand down her stomach, resting her fingers above her smooth clit. She pressed down hard on the puffy bud, rubbing it back and forth with urgency. Her body jerked hard against his the faster she played with her clit. The all too familiar signs of her rising orgasm started to bloom inside her. She could feel every throbbing muscle in her cunt tighten and twitch the closer she came to climaxing. “…fuck…yes..” Erin’s voice rose above the sounds of their smacking skin and deep grunts as her aching release shot fast and wet from her pussy, soaking Sammy’s veiny shaft while he almost simultaneously stilled between her legs and filled her insides with his sweet sticky cum. She whimpered little obscenities of approval, riding her orgasm out on his cock. Lazily dragging her arm around his neck, she pressed her lips against his ear.

Erin’s body melted against Sam’s body, with her arms already around his neck she absently-mindedly ran her fingernails across his scalp and kissed the skin beneath his earlobe. She nuzzled possessively against his neck and whimpered softly when he withdrew his spent length from between her oversensitive lips. “Naughty boy. You came inside me...” Erin sighed softly, smiling when his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her tight to his chest. A gentle hand stroking down the length of her curly mane and rubbing her back help settle her breathing. “I know you’re on birth control,” He chuckled “Sorry for not warning you first.”

Comfortable silence fell in the Park household with Erin and Sammy cradling the other’s body in their arms as their laboured breaths soon turned to easy and gentle breathing. 

“Hey, Erin” Samuel said lightly, the palm of his hand still stroking her back gently. She hummed in response, not bothering to pick her head up off his chest. “...I love you.”

The sides of Erin’s lips ticked upward, feeling the weight of those words cover her in a way that they never had before. Her arms fell from his neck and encircled his waist tightly, pulling his body even closer to her own.

“I love you too."


End file.
